Not Much Going On

I've been bad keeping this blog up to date. My fist two weeks on my own has been slow. i've only had one project and it wasn't too time intensive. I have therefore been able to do updates to my dissertation proposal but the wait for feedback takes some time. So yes, it is frustrating but I am grateful that I am pretty relaxed.

We participated in a 15 mile Charity Walk on Sunday. It was comfortable. I took Monday off from working out and we ran a 5K on Tuesday which was ok. Tonight we're set to run 4 miles. DH is visibly trimming down even though he hasn't lost much weight. That is the more important measure though so we're both happy that he is making progress.

A Coldish Winter Weekend

The weekend has flown by! Friday was hectic at work since I was trying to leave. I went through 20,000 emails to send messages to certain people to tell them who to contact for particular events. I managed to finish everything by 3.45pm. I headed out, deposited my final check in the bank and headed to the car to wait for DH. I read while he finished up. After sorting out the animals at home, he took me to dinner at L'Oriental. I had 4 raw oysters (my favorite) and then tepanyaki rockfish with a nice cabernet while DH had pork & cabbage potstickers followed by steak tepanyaki. I literally was asleep within 10 minutes of coming home.....

Saturday was cold and windy. I got to sleep in until 9pm. I then saw that one of my committee members gave me feedback on my dissertation proposal (will work on that tomorrow) and we put in a load of laundry as we went out the door. We had breakfast at Speciality Inn and then ran around Hamilton doing errands. Then the craaziness began. DH began working on the closet organizer and after a while it started pouring. DH went into the roof because a wet spot was developing on the ceiling. There was a tiny crack and the water was dripping in. Since it was raining he couldn't do anything with the roof. He ended up setting up a hairdryer blowing towards the ceiling to dry it out so the ceiling wouldn't fall in. He's going to throw some roof paint on the crack today. Then, when he was getting back to the closet the washing machine began spewing water all over the floor. I few shamwows and beach towels later, DH took the washing machine apart and discovered his sock had been sucked into the pump. Putting the washing machine back together was another story. There is still one screw that needs to go back in but DH can't get to the hole. So finally at 9pm DH got to start on my closet.... and I slept!

Today we went to church and upon coming home DH worked on the closet while I did laundry and read. The challenge for lunch was run a 5K towards Dockyard before we ate. We did the 3.1 miles in 32.28 and then had to walk another 1.25 miles into Dockyard. We had a lovely lunch at the Frog & Onion Pub and then caught the bus home. We've since had to clean up the yard a bit from yesterday's wind and DH is doing the roof. We're supposed to have dinner at DH's parent's tonight so we're trying to get the house in order before then.

Mid-Week Musings

I am so having Thai chicken for lunch.....

Not much going on today. Last night after we ran and had dinner we just relaxed. We were going to sort out the guest room but might just do that tonight. The office organization went well but we now need containers to organize the stuff on the shelves. I guess we'll need some for the guest room as well. Thankfully, DH has come up with a plan for the closet in our room so we may get the shelving for the sides and work on the closet this weekend.

Tonight after highland dancing I have to go to a party that my department is holding to say goodbye. It was originally supposed to be help on Thursday (when I have no classes, etc) but somehow it got moved to tonight. They were upset when I said originally that I couldn't make it! I'm going to drop in for 1/2 hour after class but I expect that most people will have left after the first hour or so. So while it is a nice gesture, the organization sucks! I did get to have lunch with my counselees yesterday so that was nice. We'll see how tonight goes but I will keep an open mind since there are people who'd like to say goodbye.

Tomorrow we're doing 3 miles (without the dogs). I swear, Ptolemy (the red CKCS) was either dragging me or I was dragging him last night. I can't deal with that on a 3 mile run! We also have a weigh in on Friday for the 100 day challenge. I will probably have lost 2 lbs this week but I think DH maintained his weight. He has been keeping a food diary though for the nutritionist so we'll see what she says when we sent it to her. Oh, I'm having fun with my Nike+ now that I've figured out how to use the website.

Why is it when we decide to take a rest from TTC that I get the best EWCM that I have seen since we started this whole process. It's nuts! Needless to say, I was more than a little irritated when I saw it. Then I tried to think positively and told myself that as I get healthier, I'll end up with more months swimming in EWCM. I was snickering by the end of that thought.... yeah, this is what my life now comes to!

Counting down to independence.....

Thanks to my school work needs, I am going back to independent consulting at the end of the week. This week will be full of lunches and cocktail parties and meetings to transition out of my current job. i'm pretty excited about the future! I missed working for myself. At least I am better prepared this time around!

The end of the cleanse was great. I have never been happier to eat! I've been doing everything in moderation. To tell you the truth, I'm not that hungry. I guess it teaches you that sometimes you eat just because stuff is there. I try not to pay attention to weight during a cleanse but at the end I always hope that I can keep whatever I lost off. I am hoping that I can do so this time as well! So on Saturday I ran 4 miles and it was pretty tough. Yesterday I walked 5.46 miles and it was better. My hamstrings are a little tight but I am feeling ok. We'll see how I do in dance class tonight!

Almost done....

I cheated last night. I made DH quiche and just had to taste it (I had a tiny sliver). It hasn't made a difference (i.e. I didn't end up with an upset tummy) so I don't think I ruined the whole thing. I do feel bad for being weak though. Anyhow, I just need to make it through today and then it is on to the next phase of the fitness regieme. We're starting a 100 day fitness challenge today. We weighed in for the challenge today. My goal is to lose 10-15 lbs and to increase my endurance (i.e. get back in dancing shape) and DH's goal is to lose 20 lbs and to survive the 1/2 marathon. It promises to be fun (and a PITA at the same time).

I did a bit of reading on male infertility yesterday and info related to increased prolactin levels. It actually made me hopeful that the parlodel might work to the extent that the SA in March might come back with some decent information. I really would like to be able to do a few IUIs before we have to make the final IVF decision. Ok, I'd prefer not to have to do anything other than what I learned about in biology class!!! Still, I'm a planner - I need degrees of contingencies!

Not much else going on. I spoke with the former boss today. She's having a girl in March. I was so excited for her. We discussed how just doing project work has lessened the guilt that she wasn't there for her 1st of 2 boys' major moments when she was working part-time. SIL is dealing with that now. It is something I will keep in mind due to my mom's guilt over not being able to spend much time with me as a baby.

A Cleansing Week

Tomorrow I will be starting a 5 day cleanse. I probably cleanse once or twice a year. I know I should do it quarterly but life usually catches up with me and I forget. With all the things we want to accomplish this year, I hope that I do remember to cleanse quarterly.

Yesterday we did our regular running about an I ran into a friend who happens to be DH's cousin by marriage. In June when we went to the RE appointment on Island, she and her husband also went that afternoon. Well, she's pg! I am pretty psyched for her but in the same thought we felt sad that we don't feel that we've progressed in 6 months. Yes, we keep saying we're taking the time to get ourselves in shape and out lives in order (to a degree). But face it, rationalization flies out the window when you see something that you want to badly.

The exercise is going well. I've lost weight since New year's but DH is still at the same weight. His running endurance is getting better but he's frustrated that he isn't seeing any physical differences. I wonder if he needs to see a nutritionist?

A year and six months of TTC - We're here!

Actually, I am not really that excited about having spent 18 months trying to have a baby. I am however a bit psyched about being able to spend a few months cleansing and getting in shape. It's kind of a six of one, half a dozen of another type of thing. I've been working on the diet component this week. I've been cutting back on sugar and refined starches and fish and chicken instead of red meat. I can now get more rigorous but I need to ensure I keep my energy up for the running and dancing that I am doing.

DH called the urologist today and the nurse wasn't sure whether his results were sent to the RE's rep on Island. He was so irritated.... I do not know how we're supposed to get anything done relying on the timliness of the doctors here. In any case, I need to set up my annual appointment with my gyn and I may tell her that we're looking at other options other than the RE in NJ. I need to find out if she's willing to work with another doctor to prescribe medication, etc. I also have a nephrologist visit in April and I will need to keep him in the loop as well.

I was saying to DH that it is amazing that we are at a point where we're going to be literally gambling for a child. We are people who research everything and have contingencies for everything. We're now getting into a situation where we're hoping that we'll be one of the successful couples. That scares the crap out of me. I am also scared about how I would take a failure of this plan of action.

So a new phase dawns. We both should be in decent shape by March (for the urologist and gyn appointments) and will be in fighting shape by May 25th. We're still hoping for a miracle but honestly, I'm done with putting so much energy into each cycle...... I have other things that I need to do!!!

On the verge....

Cycle 18 should start tomorrow or Thursday. Sometimes I wonder why I even try to be optimistic each cycle. I never thought we'd see 6 months of trying, let alone one year or 18 months. Each cycle starts off well enough. We both feel good about it and we get through the first 21 days without many doubts. Then the last 7 days drive me nuts with each twinge, sore spot and cramp. My the time DPO 12-13 come along, I am probably the last person DH wants to be around. I can't even think a positive thought! It got to the point last night that I was wondering why we should even bother trying to have kids. My rationalization was that at least we'd be able to afford real estate abroad and lovely (long) vacations.

Anyhow, my mood this month is due to doctors here. We called the RE in NJ yesterday and they told us that they did not have the results and such from DH's tests and appointment with the urologist in December. We don't know if it is the urologist's fault or the fault of the RE's rep on Island. Either way, DH was irritated. Without that info, the RE doesn't really have anything to be able to talk to us. And all I want to know is what the RE thinks are next steps (i.e. go straight to ivf since tht's the only way any of this is going to work). I also want to know how the procedure would work if we went through the NJ office and what the damage would be on our bank accounts.

I've also been reading about fibroids and ivf. While it appears I was given the ok in August (i.e. tubes not blocked), I was not given any specifics (i.e. they are outside of the uterus). So of course, I am reading about ivf with fibroids and the info is all over the place. I don't believe they do removal here so that's another trip abroad if it is necessary to remove them. If they do not have to be removed, will I then be worried about their affect on any ivf treatments. Why cant we just do this naturally and I won't have to think down this path.....

Needless to say, I am looking forward to my 2.5 mile run tonight. That should help to get rid of some of this frustration!

Impatient Already

It isn't even the new year and I am feeling impatient for the fall. I have been contemplating whether to add some cleanses to my fitness regimine after my next cycle and just take a break from TTC for a few months. I also am contemplating changing my eating habits during this time because I have been eating more meat and dairy than I really should. So many considerations when you give yourself a goal to work towards...