I have to report to the hospital at 1.30 for my outpatient HSG. I haven't eaten since midnight and have only been allowed water this morning. I am not a happy camper! Since it is almost Good Friday, people are eating hot crossed buns and chocolate eggs in the office.... and I have a glass of water. I swear, I want a steak (or KFC) when I get out of the hospital tonight! I just want the whole thing over - to be told that everything is ok and to go forth and multiply.. in mid-April...
Anyhow, I survived Monday's final class for the workshop weekend. I got a commended for my crappy jig and a highly commended for my highland dances in the mock exams. I wasn't graded in the national since I was still learning the last dance. I did get notes though and they were great help. I', now practicing each dance nightly with music and it is helping. As for the theory, I went over the book with DH last night so he can start testing me...
I need to go shopping for Good Friday... I need to make my buns and codfish cakes tomorrow night... and I need to make a kite...
31 March 2010
28 March 2010
(I Need) Confidence...
This weekend reminded me that I have lost something that I took for granted for so many years in my youth. I have generally been a very confident person. It probably was a by-product of being on stage, enjoying tests in school, reading a lot, theatre. I don't know why I was so confident. I had a bobble in my confidence in high school when I grew from 5'4" to 5'9" and wasn't 'that great' for ballet anymore but I got into theatre and was fine. I never wavered in my confidence in college or grad school and was even really confident during my doctoral coursework. However, I see that my downhill slide in the confidence arena started around the time of our first TTC cycle in 2007 (it was actually a body image issue in a show that I now realise was fibroid related) and hit rock bottom somewhere in 2008. I have been working since then to build my confidence in all areas of my life but it has been a rollercoaster.
Anyhow, this weekend we have had highland dancing and Scottish national dancing workshops and mock exams in preparation for our exams on April 15 & 16. There are 4 of us who teach and 3 of us were planning to take our teacher's exam as of Friday afternoon. Well, Friday was great because the workshops went well and our students did really well. The theory practice was tough but survivable. I came home tired but positive. Saturday we were paranoid again because we had our youngest dancers and their parents. They made it through the workshop and also did well. As we were getting everyone ready for the mock exams, a parent came up to me and congratulated me on being pregnant. In my head I panicked. Thankfully, I pulled it together and said 'no, I had abdominal surgery in December and I am just getting back into dancing. I have some work to do to get back into dancing shape but I should be fine.' She apologised and apologised and I had that conversation in my head all day. So much for wearing leotards to class....
Anyhow, I transferred my paranoia to the mock exams and we made it through the morning and into the afternoon. Then it was time for my mock exams. Oh boy... I bombed in the jig to the point where I was wondering who was up there dancing. I actually looked at my feet the entire time. All of us were a mess and the instructor helped us improve by helping us with our confidence in the steps. We then went into our National and Highland mock exams and I felt much better about my ability to pass. It was at this point that one of the teachers decided not to take the exam with me so I'll be doing it alone... I immediately started questioning my decision to do the exam this year. Unfortunately, I then had a bad night's sleep. Between my painful feet and legs and dreams about that parent that asked me the question (I dreamed that she wanted to take her teacher's exam), I was a basket case. I was ok at Palm Sunday Services but high strung today at the theory class for the teacher's exam. It was a great class and quite helpful and I have a lot of work to do. Still, my confidence came up again and again in my assessment - I know my stuff but I need to say it like I know it. I felt so run down at the end... in my head I was trying to figure out how to build my confidence, where would I find the time to do more, why am I doing this???
I came home, crashed and then had a long talk with Aidan about how to rebuild my confidence. We discussed everything. The beginnings of our loss of control over our lives, the ineffective coping mechanisms we've employed over the years, how our lack of confidence in our fertility has affected our work and personal lives and what we're doing to rebuild confidence and create a 'new normal'. There were no eureka moments because we came to many of the same solutions that we've said for the last year - choosing your battles, working together to get through difficult times, helping one another rebuild confidence in areas that we have more control.
So, exam-wise, I have a nightly tester in my husband who will drill me on the theory so that I feel confident speaking in the exam. The schedule is one dance per night for theory and a run through of the 7 dances for practical retention. As for other areas, we'll work on them one by one.
To end, I have given myself an anthem to get through the coming weeks (and into the summer and fall). It's one of my many favorite songs from 'The Sound of Music":
I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me
Strength doesn't lie in numbers
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!
It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!
Anyhow, this weekend we have had highland dancing and Scottish national dancing workshops and mock exams in preparation for our exams on April 15 & 16. There are 4 of us who teach and 3 of us were planning to take our teacher's exam as of Friday afternoon. Well, Friday was great because the workshops went well and our students did really well. The theory practice was tough but survivable. I came home tired but positive. Saturday we were paranoid again because we had our youngest dancers and their parents. They made it through the workshop and also did well. As we were getting everyone ready for the mock exams, a parent came up to me and congratulated me on being pregnant. In my head I panicked. Thankfully, I pulled it together and said 'no, I had abdominal surgery in December and I am just getting back into dancing. I have some work to do to get back into dancing shape but I should be fine.' She apologised and apologised and I had that conversation in my head all day. So much for wearing leotards to class....
Anyhow, I transferred my paranoia to the mock exams and we made it through the morning and into the afternoon. Then it was time for my mock exams. Oh boy... I bombed in the jig to the point where I was wondering who was up there dancing. I actually looked at my feet the entire time. All of us were a mess and the instructor helped us improve by helping us with our confidence in the steps. We then went into our National and Highland mock exams and I felt much better about my ability to pass. It was at this point that one of the teachers decided not to take the exam with me so I'll be doing it alone... I immediately started questioning my decision to do the exam this year. Unfortunately, I then had a bad night's sleep. Between my painful feet and legs and dreams about that parent that asked me the question (I dreamed that she wanted to take her teacher's exam), I was a basket case. I was ok at Palm Sunday Services but high strung today at the theory class for the teacher's exam. It was a great class and quite helpful and I have a lot of work to do. Still, my confidence came up again and again in my assessment - I know my stuff but I need to say it like I know it. I felt so run down at the end... in my head I was trying to figure out how to build my confidence, where would I find the time to do more, why am I doing this???
I came home, crashed and then had a long talk with Aidan about how to rebuild my confidence. We discussed everything. The beginnings of our loss of control over our lives, the ineffective coping mechanisms we've employed over the years, how our lack of confidence in our fertility has affected our work and personal lives and what we're doing to rebuild confidence and create a 'new normal'. There were no eureka moments because we came to many of the same solutions that we've said for the last year - choosing your battles, working together to get through difficult times, helping one another rebuild confidence in areas that we have more control.
So, exam-wise, I have a nightly tester in my husband who will drill me on the theory so that I feel confident speaking in the exam. The schedule is one dance per night for theory and a run through of the 7 dances for practical retention. As for other areas, we'll work on them one by one.
To end, I have given myself an anthem to get through the coming weeks (and into the summer and fall). It's one of my many favorite songs from 'The Sound of Music":
I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me
Strength doesn't lie in numbers
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!
It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!
24 March 2010
More About the Furbabies
It's been a fun ICLW thus far. I have managed to visit everyone this month and I must admit that I had an all consuming need to finish when I got to #120...
Anyhow, I'd like to thank everyone for visiting and leaving such great comments. I've decided to post a bit more about the four furbabies since they're pretty interesting.
This is Artemis Penelope. She's a crazed lunatic. We adopted her in June 2007, after the deaths of Loreley and our puppy Deaglan Balthazar (he was a tri colour calavalier king charles spaniel and unfortunately he had a liver ailment that took him from us) in May '07. We we're pretty shaken as Loreley and Deaglan passed within 6 days of each other and we were a bit nervous about adopting again. Artemis chose Aidan.... and then took over the house. She's still in charge... She is the largest out of the four and it's mostly fluff. She still likes visiting when we're on the computer - unfortunately, she blocks the screen now.
She has some dog-like tendencies. She scratches at the door to come in and she licks us (uuuggghhh). She also trains the dogs in cat-like behavior and cleans them before going to bed at night.
Bronwyn Anastacia came to us in October 2007 via British Airways. I think she's from Harlow in the UK. Her sister travelled with her and lives at the other end of the Island (we've seen her a few times since). Bronwyn is the sweetest dog I have ever met. She also snores louder than my husband! She's currently overweight and that's partially due to the winter weather (she refuses to go out or move if it is wet out) and partially due to the fact that she steals food. She is the reason we got a second cavalier - we thought they all would be as nice as her! She was a pro in dog training classes and was often used to calm other dogs down.
Anyhow, I'd like to thank everyone for visiting and leaving such great comments. I've decided to post a bit more about the four furbabies since they're pretty interesting.
This is Matthias Barnabas. We adopted him and his sister (Loreley Ekatterina) from the SPCA in October 2006 when we got back from our honeymoon. Unfortunately, his sister passed away in May 2007 after being attacked by a ferel cat in the neighborhood. He is a small cat, loves to catch mice and rats and squeaks instead of meows. He sleeps usually with his head tucked under Aidan's chin.
This is Artemis Penelope. She's a crazed lunatic. We adopted her in June 2007, after the deaths of Loreley and our puppy Deaglan Balthazar (he was a tri colour calavalier king charles spaniel and unfortunately he had a liver ailment that took him from us) in May '07. We we're pretty shaken as Loreley and Deaglan passed within 6 days of each other and we were a bit nervous about adopting again. Artemis chose Aidan.... and then took over the house. She's still in charge... She is the largest out of the four and it's mostly fluff. She still likes visiting when we're on the computer - unfortunately, she blocks the screen now.
She has some dog-like tendencies. She scratches at the door to come in and she licks us (uuuggghhh). She also trains the dogs in cat-like behavior and cleans them before going to bed at night.
Bronwyn Anastacia came to us in October 2007 via British Airways. I think she's from Harlow in the UK. Her sister travelled with her and lives at the other end of the Island (we've seen her a few times since). Bronwyn is the sweetest dog I have ever met. She also snores louder than my husband! She's currently overweight and that's partially due to the winter weather (she refuses to go out or move if it is wet out) and partially due to the fact that she steals food. She is the reason we got a second cavalier - we thought they all would be as nice as her! She was a pro in dog training classes and was often used to calm other dogs down.
Ptolemy Xavier arrived via British Airways in March 2008. He's from Norwich in the UK. He was the runt of the litter but made up for his size with his amazing personality. He was immediately accepted by Matthias, Artemis & Bronwyn and has done everything in his power to fit in. He therefore purrs (a light, drawn out growl), cleans himself, pounces and jumps on high furniture. He's also pretty good at walking on his hind legs. We do not believe that he associates himself at all with dogs. At this point he is not fixed but we're really close to doing it because he is marking everything! He wakes us up every morning by climbing on our chests and purring - it's cute and irritating at the same time.
22 March 2010
March ICLW - Welcome
I decided to do an 'A-Z' this month for my introduction but didn't realise how long it would take. Here it is:
A – Artemis, our crazy white cat. She is the queen of the household and has our dogs firmly under her control. Also, Aidan, my husband.
B – Bermuda, the Island where we were both born and live. Also, Bronwyn, our tri-colour cavalier king charles spaniel.
C – Czech Republic, the country where we did our first IVF cycle in Aug/Sept 2009.
D – Dancing, I’ve been dancing since I was 4. I currently teach highland dancing and in April will start teaching bellydancing again.
E – Exercise, I’m currently doing Chalene Extreme along with a little running, yoga and dancing to try to get back in shape after 3 months of not being able to do so post-surgery.
F – Fibroids, I had 10 of them taken out in December 2009 via a robotic laparoscopic myomectomy.
G – Giving, I do a lot of volunteer work and believe that social responsibility is a priority.
H – Hycanith, The first flower to bloom in my garden in 2010. I hope the rest of my garden blooms soon. Also, Hungary, the place where we may do IVF #2.
I – Intern programs, have become my specialty over the years. I now coordinate a technology focused programme during the summer.
J – Jewelry, yes, I like it… and I love to receive it :)
K – Kilt, I get to wear one often thanks to the highland dancing. Aidan is a piper so he wears one too. He looks better in his than I do in mine…
L – Leadership, I’ve been working on a doctorate in organizational leadership since 2004. I’m currently ABD (all but dissertation) and I am trying to motivate myself to finish….
M – Matthias, our level-headed black cat. Also, Marisa, my name!
N – Nutrition, We’ve been working on our nutrition for a year and unfortunately back-slid after my surgery. We’re trying to get back into it again…
O - 'One', my favorite song from ‘A Chorus Line’. It was our final dance of the night at out wedding reception (complete with top hats and canes).
P – Ptolemy, our ruby cavalier king charles spaniel. He thinks he’s a cat. Also, Pipe Band, the entity that sucks up a lot of our time.
Q – Quiz Night, most Tuesdays. We like using all of the nonsense that we have crammed into our brains!
R – Relationship, I’d have to say that this journey has made Aidan and I work harder together to keep the lines of communication open.
S – 'Singing In the Rain’, my favorite movie and the origin of my love of Gene Kelly and tap dancing.
T – ‘Tea for Two’, my first singing/tap dancing performance when I was 6 years old. The second was ‘Getting to Know You’ from ‘The King and I’. My dad coached me at home for both and my love of musical theatre grew exponentially from there…
U – Undo, I’d love to undo the last 3 years to just have doe more research before starting this IF journey. In a way, we’ve wasted so much time through just not knowing.
V – Vexillology, Aidan spends a lot of time doing this…. It’s the study of flags!
W – Water, part of the reason I love living in Bermuda – even if I don’t go swimming much (I hate the sand!)
X – X-ray, I have a hysterosalpingogram scheduled for March 31st
Y – Yoga, I’m trying to add this back into my daily routine… need to relax a bit more…
Z – Zodiac, I was born on the cusp of Gemini & Cancer. Aidan is a Libra.
A – Artemis, our crazy white cat. She is the queen of the household and has our dogs firmly under her control. Also, Aidan, my husband.
B – Bermuda, the Island where we were both born and live. Also, Bronwyn, our tri-colour cavalier king charles spaniel.
C – Czech Republic, the country where we did our first IVF cycle in Aug/Sept 2009.
D – Dancing, I’ve been dancing since I was 4. I currently teach highland dancing and in April will start teaching bellydancing again.
E – Exercise, I’m currently doing Chalene Extreme along with a little running, yoga and dancing to try to get back in shape after 3 months of not being able to do so post-surgery.
F – Fibroids, I had 10 of them taken out in December 2009 via a robotic laparoscopic myomectomy.
G – Giving, I do a lot of volunteer work and believe that social responsibility is a priority.
H – Hycanith, The first flower to bloom in my garden in 2010. I hope the rest of my garden blooms soon. Also, Hungary, the place where we may do IVF #2.
I – Intern programs, have become my specialty over the years. I now coordinate a technology focused programme during the summer.
J – Jewelry, yes, I like it… and I love to receive it :)
K – Kilt, I get to wear one often thanks to the highland dancing. Aidan is a piper so he wears one too. He looks better in his than I do in mine…
L – Leadership, I’ve been working on a doctorate in organizational leadership since 2004. I’m currently ABD (all but dissertation) and I am trying to motivate myself to finish….
M – Matthias, our level-headed black cat. Also, Marisa, my name!
N – Nutrition, We’ve been working on our nutrition for a year and unfortunately back-slid after my surgery. We’re trying to get back into it again…
O - 'One', my favorite song from ‘A Chorus Line’. It was our final dance of the night at out wedding reception (complete with top hats and canes).
P – Ptolemy, our ruby cavalier king charles spaniel. He thinks he’s a cat. Also, Pipe Band, the entity that sucks up a lot of our time.
Q – Quiz Night, most Tuesdays. We like using all of the nonsense that we have crammed into our brains!
R – Relationship, I’d have to say that this journey has made Aidan and I work harder together to keep the lines of communication open.
S – 'Singing In the Rain’, my favorite movie and the origin of my love of Gene Kelly and tap dancing.
T – ‘Tea for Two’, my first singing/tap dancing performance when I was 6 years old. The second was ‘Getting to Know You’ from ‘The King and I’. My dad coached me at home for both and my love of musical theatre grew exponentially from there…
U – Undo, I’d love to undo the last 3 years to just have doe more research before starting this IF journey. In a way, we’ve wasted so much time through just not knowing.
V – Vexillology, Aidan spends a lot of time doing this…. It’s the study of flags!
W – Water, part of the reason I love living in Bermuda – even if I don’t go swimming much (I hate the sand!)
X – X-ray, I have a hysterosalpingogram scheduled for March 31st
Y – Yoga, I’m trying to add this back into my daily routine… need to relax a bit more…
Z – Zodiac, I was born on the cusp of Gemini & Cancer. Aidan is a Libra.
16 March 2010
DST
I personally love daylight saving time (DST). I don't really like 'falling back' because it is literally a waste of time. I have a pretty constant pattern - I wake up at 5.30am in the fall/winter (I then go back to sleep - which is a joke) and at 6.30 in the spring/summer. That said, the first few days of shifing time makes me a monster... I wasn't fit to have a conversation with anyone this morning until after 8am, and I wasn't nice until about 10am.
So last night after Chalean Extreme workout #4, I did a 10 minute relaxation yoga practice. I did it because at the infertility support group that night we discussed trying to be whole during this stressful situation and taking the time when you're not cycling to center yourself in some way. I thought about how I had used yoga and meditation in the past to get through stressful times and wondered why I did not take the time last year to get back into both (outside of obviously branded 'fertility' yoga and meditations that were good but had a lot of fertility language in it). So I pulled out a Rodney Yee DVD and rolled out the mat. It was like visiting an old friend. I love his voice! The relaxation practice was difficult (my flexibility sucks) but nice. I was calmer afterwards. I intended to fo the morning practice but DST got me... perhaps it'll happen in a week or so when I am used to it.
DST has also affected dog walking. The morning walks are now evening walks - but we're not home before dark most nights. Yeah, a little irritating. So Aidan actually ran around the house with the dogs chasing him to tire them out last night (it worked for all three of them). I know the mornings will get more light in the coming weeks but it is a PITA since I like walking in the morning (yeah, the dogs like it too).
Now that DST is back, I want to be in my garden. I ordered some seeds last week and I plan to go to the plant nursery on Saturday and spend the afternoon in the garden. But it's still pretty cool. Even with the sun out I still need a jacket - which I don't find conducive to gardening. But at least I will be able to get into the garden (I hope). It's like every weekend is rainy recently. I hope that this weekend bucks the trend and kicks off a lovely spring.
And finally (in this DST tribute), I mistakenly started our St. Patrick's Day dinner a day early (see para. 1 for the reason why). Yeah, I got up this morning and put everything in the crockpot and Aidan came down and asked why I was making the dinner a day early.... I was not amused.... Anyhow, our dinner will definitely be ready after pipe band/highland dancing rehearsals tomorrow night. And since Aidan is a passport carrying Irishman (and a passport carrying Bermudian and Englishman), we'll celebrate a tiny bit of his heritage, probably talk about the possibility of Ireland in September and visiting his cousins and willing the luck of the Irish upon us!
So last night after Chalean Extreme workout #4, I did a 10 minute relaxation yoga practice. I did it because at the infertility support group that night we discussed trying to be whole during this stressful situation and taking the time when you're not cycling to center yourself in some way. I thought about how I had used yoga and meditation in the past to get through stressful times and wondered why I did not take the time last year to get back into both (outside of obviously branded 'fertility' yoga and meditations that were good but had a lot of fertility language in it). So I pulled out a Rodney Yee DVD and rolled out the mat. It was like visiting an old friend. I love his voice! The relaxation practice was difficult (my flexibility sucks) but nice. I was calmer afterwards. I intended to fo the morning practice but DST got me... perhaps it'll happen in a week or so when I am used to it.
DST has also affected dog walking. The morning walks are now evening walks - but we're not home before dark most nights. Yeah, a little irritating. So Aidan actually ran around the house with the dogs chasing him to tire them out last night (it worked for all three of them). I know the mornings will get more light in the coming weeks but it is a PITA since I like walking in the morning (yeah, the dogs like it too).
Now that DST is back, I want to be in my garden. I ordered some seeds last week and I plan to go to the plant nursery on Saturday and spend the afternoon in the garden. But it's still pretty cool. Even with the sun out I still need a jacket - which I don't find conducive to gardening. But at least I will be able to get into the garden (I hope). It's like every weekend is rainy recently. I hope that this weekend bucks the trend and kicks off a lovely spring.
And finally (in this DST tribute), I mistakenly started our St. Patrick's Day dinner a day early (see para. 1 for the reason why). Yeah, I got up this morning and put everything in the crockpot and Aidan came down and asked why I was making the dinner a day early.... I was not amused.... Anyhow, our dinner will definitely be ready after pipe band/highland dancing rehearsals tomorrow night. And since Aidan is a passport carrying Irishman (and a passport carrying Bermudian and Englishman), we'll celebrate a tiny bit of his heritage, probably talk about the possibility of Ireland in September and visiting his cousins and willing the luck of the Irish upon us!
14 March 2010
Been Trying to Get Here All Weekend!
Our busy week extended into the weekend as we were out every night since Thursday - and will continue the trend this week up until Saturday night (for me - next Tuesday for Aidan). All I have wanted to do is just stop and breathe for a few minutes but then I would be so behind. I really would like a vacation.
Anyhow, we've heard back from the coordinator for the Budapest option. We're going to put down the deposit this week and then we can book as late as 2 weeks before we go. We'd do it way before then since we'd have to sort out flight. I feel as if a weight has been lifted to have a reasonably priced back-up plan in play. Now I just hope we won't have to use it. We told our acupuncturist about it and he's going to support us to try to make a good effort to do it on our own. I am visualising an irish vacation in September instead of IVF in Budapest...
I'm officially fat. We had to go to a Gala last night and I couldn't fit into any of my evening gowns (all size 6). I ended up wearing a dressy halter dress with marching coat that was short but sparkly (size 8). While there's only one dress size between the two, it's the first time I could not squeeze into my evening dress wardrobe. i was inconsolable. I now am a bit more determine to get in shape and tone up. That said, I did the 3rd day of Chalean Extreme today and was exhausted. My endurance is awful! I did make it to the end of the session though and kept telling myself that I'll be so much stronger in a month when I move to the next phase. Plus, by them my clothes will fit again!
The weather is getting better so I am hoping to start doing some gardening next weekend. I am craving flowers in my garden. I need the blast of colour to tell me that warm weather will be here soon. I am so sick of winter - even our brand of winter (wet and damp and coldish). I want to be outside taking the dogs for walks and I'd love to go jogging.... I'm sick of being inside!
Anyhow, we've heard back from the coordinator for the Budapest option. We're going to put down the deposit this week and then we can book as late as 2 weeks before we go. We'd do it way before then since we'd have to sort out flight. I feel as if a weight has been lifted to have a reasonably priced back-up plan in play. Now I just hope we won't have to use it. We told our acupuncturist about it and he's going to support us to try to make a good effort to do it on our own. I am visualising an irish vacation in September instead of IVF in Budapest...
I'm officially fat. We had to go to a Gala last night and I couldn't fit into any of my evening gowns (all size 6). I ended up wearing a dressy halter dress with marching coat that was short but sparkly (size 8). While there's only one dress size between the two, it's the first time I could not squeeze into my evening dress wardrobe. i was inconsolable. I now am a bit more determine to get in shape and tone up. That said, I did the 3rd day of Chalean Extreme today and was exhausted. My endurance is awful! I did make it to the end of the session though and kept telling myself that I'll be so much stronger in a month when I move to the next phase. Plus, by them my clothes will fit again!
The weather is getting better so I am hoping to start doing some gardening next weekend. I am craving flowers in my garden. I need the blast of colour to tell me that warm weather will be here soon. I am so sick of winter - even our brand of winter (wet and damp and coldish). I want to be outside taking the dogs for walks and I'd love to go jogging.... I'm sick of being inside!
11 March 2010
A Moment to Breathe
It's a crazy month. I don't ever remember March being so busy for me but this year it's kicking my butt. Sometime it is exhilarating but at the moment I'm a bit run down. I got to sleep early last night but I am still shattered. Hopefully there is some rest somewhere this month (knowing my luck, it'll be Good Friday - in April!).
Anyhow, we're chugging along with everything. As we look towards this next cycle (cycle 4 after surgery), the goal is to get everything in order since the HSG is in the middle of it and the end marks our first TTC cycle in 6 months. I started this current cycle temping, failed miserably and gave up. I then thought to do some ovulation tests, forgot a few times and missed that too. I've decided to take the plunge for the April cycle and get an OV Watch. Hopefully I can remember to wear it to bed.....
As for health and nutrition, I've lapsed and have been working my way through a large bag of chips over the last few days. Good news is that now that I'm allowed to dance (read: jump up and down), I can do something to lose these 10 lbs I've picked up since surgery. I've decided to do the Chalean Extreme program to kick start the process. I had intended to do another programme but I am not ready for that one yet.... Anyhow, the workouts should fit into my schedule and hopefully I'll have endurance, flexibility and strength for dancing in the coming weeks.
Other than that, we've gotten a few new DVDs to watch (Leverage - Season 1 and Secret Diary of a CallGirl - Season 2). I have a ton of work to do for a meeting next week and a ton of studying to do for the highland exams. And I still need to sit down and do some dissertation work... Yeah, I need a break!
Anyhow, we're chugging along with everything. As we look towards this next cycle (cycle 4 after surgery), the goal is to get everything in order since the HSG is in the middle of it and the end marks our first TTC cycle in 6 months. I started this current cycle temping, failed miserably and gave up. I then thought to do some ovulation tests, forgot a few times and missed that too. I've decided to take the plunge for the April cycle and get an OV Watch. Hopefully I can remember to wear it to bed.....
As for health and nutrition, I've lapsed and have been working my way through a large bag of chips over the last few days. Good news is that now that I'm allowed to dance (read: jump up and down), I can do something to lose these 10 lbs I've picked up since surgery. I've decided to do the Chalean Extreme program to kick start the process. I had intended to do another programme but I am not ready for that one yet.... Anyhow, the workouts should fit into my schedule and hopefully I'll have endurance, flexibility and strength for dancing in the coming weeks.
Other than that, we've gotten a few new DVDs to watch (Leverage - Season 1 and Secret Diary of a CallGirl - Season 2). I have a ton of work to do for a meeting next week and a ton of studying to do for the highland exams. And I still need to sit down and do some dissertation work... Yeah, I need a break!
09 March 2010
You're Approved!!!
That's what today's email from the IVF coordinator for the clinic in Budapest felt like. Last week we contacted the coordinator and immediately heard back from her. She sent us the medical history form and an overview of the process and options (pretty much the stuff on the site). We sent the completed form back with additional supporting materials by the next morning. We also sent a few questions about acupuncture and co-culturing. We then spoke with her briefly the next day as I wanted to ensure everything was received. She confirmed that she had received and immediately forwarded the information to their partner clinic and I would receive an update in a few days.
Today, I received a message from the co-ordinator saying that my consultation has been scheduled for June 18th and that if I want to cycle in September, they'll make those arrangements in June. We've received a Terms and Conditions sheet that we'll send back shortly and we're also going to go forward with the first visit package that they offer.
Today, I received a message from the co-ordinator saying that my consultation has been scheduled for June 18th and that if I want to cycle in September, they'll make those arrangements in June. We've received a Terms and Conditions sheet that we'll send back shortly and we're also going to go forward with the first visit package that they offer.
As I said earlier, it felt like we've received an approval in the mail. I will admit to being a bit nervous when she said they would review our information and then make any arrangements. I didn't expect to be turned down but it was a possibility. So now our back-up plan is in play!
So now we need to send back the terms & conditions and pay the deposit via back transfer. We'll also get them to book the hotel at that time. I've started looking at airline options. It looks like we'll have to leave here on June 16th (leaving about 8pm), arriving in London on June 17th (at about 7am). Then, we either have to go to Heathrow or we can wait until 7pm for a flight out of Gatwick (a day in London perhaps...). My first appointment is scheduled for 10am on June 18th and we expect to also have stuff to do on the 19th. It looks like we'll then need to fly back to London on June 20th at 7am and go home on June 22nd. That would mean that I'll get to spend my b-day (the 21st) in London!
08 March 2010
Wonderful Sunday...
The weekend was lovely but Sunday was much warmer than Saturday - hence the 'wonderful' distinction for Sunday.
I am so sick of being cold. On Saturday I sold tickets on behalf of the dance foundation and then I had the exam class for highland. I froze for a good part of the day, even with a sweater and a fleece lined jacket. We went to L'Oriental for dinner and unfortunately I was not feeling great. This head cold is such a PITA.
On Sunday I slept in to try to deal with the cold. I still had a charity walk for the day with the dogs. We did 3 miles and both Bronwyn and Ptolemy did well. They slept through the entire night, which I loved!
We watched the Oscars last night. I forgot they were on this weekend. I don't know why I stayed up to watch the whole thing. There were no surprises and the fashion wasn't that great....
I am so sick of being cold. On Saturday I sold tickets on behalf of the dance foundation and then I had the exam class for highland. I froze for a good part of the day, even with a sweater and a fleece lined jacket. We went to L'Oriental for dinner and unfortunately I was not feeling great. This head cold is such a PITA.
On Sunday I slept in to try to deal with the cold. I still had a charity walk for the day with the dogs. We did 3 miles and both Bronwyn and Ptolemy did well. They slept through the entire night, which I loved!
We watched the Oscars last night. I forgot they were on this weekend. I don't know why I stayed up to watch the whole thing. There were no surprises and the fashion wasn't that great....
05 March 2010
1st Performance since surgery
All I can say is "oh well". We had a small performance at a local school scheduled for today and since the kids who go to the school didn't want to dance, I got pulled in with the other teacher. We decided to do the sword dance which is usually fun for kids to watch. We also decided to do a more challenging middle step for the challenge of it all. We practiced the difficult step, went in to perform and I got through the first and 2nd challenging step with out a problem. Then my mind went blank and I couldn't remember the last step at all. I tried a few times to figure it out but had no luck.
I didn't think anything of it. Sure, it was embarrassing but that's dancing - sometimes you lose it and can't catch up. Unfortunately, the Pipe Major then made a joke that I needed to practice more. I got pissed, walked out on stage and said it doesn't help that I've been sick for the last 3 months. I was pretty pissed but then I just said 'whatever' to myself and started to think about the rest of my day. The other band members were still pretty mad though about the comment, particularly since everyone knew that I've had surgery and haven't been allowed to dance (and I officially still can't until next week...). I told them don't worry about it, it's no big deal.
So anyhow, I've figured out the step that I forgot and I also need to figure out a way to keep all of these new steps and old steps organized in my head... preparation for these exams are killing me mentally!
I didn't think anything of it. Sure, it was embarrassing but that's dancing - sometimes you lose it and can't catch up. Unfortunately, the Pipe Major then made a joke that I needed to practice more. I got pissed, walked out on stage and said it doesn't help that I've been sick for the last 3 months. I was pretty pissed but then I just said 'whatever' to myself and started to think about the rest of my day. The other band members were still pretty mad though about the comment, particularly since everyone knew that I've had surgery and haven't been allowed to dance (and I officially still can't until next week...). I told them don't worry about it, it's no big deal.
So anyhow, I've figured out the step that I forgot and I also need to figure out a way to keep all of these new steps and old steps organized in my head... preparation for these exams are killing me mentally!
02 March 2010
Hungary?
This whole IVF back up plan has been irritating me since the fire. I feel guilty putting money aside for IVF when we need to renovate the apartment. I don't feel so bad about our vacation account (it's been a bill in my budget for years...) but the extra I should be putting towards paint and tile and contractors.
We're currently considering an option in Hungary. The coordinating office is in London since most of the clients are British. They've gotten back to us with information already. Initial number crunching make it cheaper than even CZ (primarily because it is a week less) but more coordination services (the coordinator is at your service 24/7, picks you up from the airport, will run errands, plan excursions, etc). Apparently, it's what separates them from other services. We're looking at a comparison of IVF with ICSI and drugs in Boston being about $3K more than 2 air fares (June consultation and drug purchase & September cycle), 2 hotel stays (with breakfast and internet), IVF with ICSI, drugs, coordinator (including airport transfers and clinic transfers), and local cell. The wonders of cycling internationally!
Boston is still doable - as is Norway ($3K more than the Boston barebones but that would include all the air travel, car and hotel). With Boston the advantage is that the doctor knows my situation well and I know Boston well. The con is that I'm afraid that with flights, hotel, food, possible additional protocol needs and transportation, we'll end up spending way more than I'd like. That decimates our vacation account... BTW, the Norway benefit is that I've never been there :) but the con is that Norway is so expensive for food, car rental, hotel, etc.
Anyhow, Aidan wants to explore the Hungary option further so we'll go through their paperwork as the week progresses. I think if we put this to bed soon in light of our apartment renovation situation, we can then focus on getting the apartment done and Aidan's grandfather back in there asap.
UPDATE - We sent the information off today (March 3). Looks like our consultation will be in Hungary on June 17 or 18. I'll most likely then get to celebrate my b-day in London! Still, hoping it wont be necessary as I really want to go to Ireland.
We're currently considering an option in Hungary. The coordinating office is in London since most of the clients are British. They've gotten back to us with information already. Initial number crunching make it cheaper than even CZ (primarily because it is a week less) but more coordination services (the coordinator is at your service 24/7, picks you up from the airport, will run errands, plan excursions, etc). Apparently, it's what separates them from other services. We're looking at a comparison of IVF with ICSI and drugs in Boston being about $3K more than 2 air fares (June consultation and drug purchase & September cycle), 2 hotel stays (with breakfast and internet), IVF with ICSI, drugs, coordinator (including airport transfers and clinic transfers), and local cell. The wonders of cycling internationally!
Boston is still doable - as is Norway ($3K more than the Boston barebones but that would include all the air travel, car and hotel). With Boston the advantage is that the doctor knows my situation well and I know Boston well. The con is that I'm afraid that with flights, hotel, food, possible additional protocol needs and transportation, we'll end up spending way more than I'd like. That decimates our vacation account... BTW, the Norway benefit is that I've never been there :) but the con is that Norway is so expensive for food, car rental, hotel, etc.
Anyhow, Aidan wants to explore the Hungary option further so we'll go through their paperwork as the week progresses. I think if we put this to bed soon in light of our apartment renovation situation, we can then focus on getting the apartment done and Aidan's grandfather back in there asap.
UPDATE - We sent the information off today (March 3). Looks like our consultation will be in Hungary on June 17 or 18. I'll most likely then get to celebrate my b-day in London! Still, hoping it wont be necessary as I really want to go to Ireland.
01 March 2010
Freesias
It has been an unusual winter in Bermuda this year in that it has actually felt like winter. The cold temps, the winds and rain. My garden is blown to bits and even the grass has suffered. Over at Aidan's grandfather's, where part of the grass is marred by the soot and charcoal from the fire, freesias have started to bloom around the yard. That means that Spring is coming! A wonderful promise...
I didn't do well during February's ICLW because work is so hectic. I've been coming home in the evening and crashing! This weekend, to get rid of part of the burden, we finally created the menus and associated shopping lists for a 6 week rotation. It is amazing how knowing whats for breakfast, lunch and dinner make life a little simpler. Now if I can just organize the rest of the house.... and do some school work!
We discussed IVF choices again this weekend. Aidan is asking the clinic in CZ whether we can start the protocol at home and be scanned here since we can't be away for more than 2 weeks. Of course, we still hope not to have to do this but we need a plan. We're still not 100% sold on the amount of money we'd have to spend to cycle in Boston.... and so it continues.
Update - CZ said no for starting the Protocol in Bermuda. That means if we choose CZ, I will be out there for 2 weeks on my own and Aidan will join me on day 10. At least we tried...
And finally, I am exercising. I have so much work to do. I am a week from being able to dance again and my flabby gut is awful. Hopefully I can get that under control soon.....
I didn't do well during February's ICLW because work is so hectic. I've been coming home in the evening and crashing! This weekend, to get rid of part of the burden, we finally created the menus and associated shopping lists for a 6 week rotation. It is amazing how knowing whats for breakfast, lunch and dinner make life a little simpler. Now if I can just organize the rest of the house.... and do some school work!
We discussed IVF choices again this weekend. Aidan is asking the clinic in CZ whether we can start the protocol at home and be scanned here since we can't be away for more than 2 weeks. Of course, we still hope not to have to do this but we need a plan. We're still not 100% sold on the amount of money we'd have to spend to cycle in Boston.... and so it continues.
Update - CZ said no for starting the Protocol in Bermuda. That means if we choose CZ, I will be out there for 2 weeks on my own and Aidan will join me on day 10. At least we tried...
And finally, I am exercising. I have so much work to do. I am a week from being able to dance again and my flabby gut is awful. Hopefully I can get that under control soon.....
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