Liam - Week 44

Date/Week: October 26th; week 44

Milestones: The first tooth has broken through and the second is about to come through!He is 10 months old (double digit months!!!). He has walked with me only holding one of his hands

Developmental Progress:  He is getting pretty good with 'Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' and has touched his head and ears consistently when he hears those. He will raise his arms up when Aidan says 'Wings Up'. His kisses are so messy but he is trying to kiss you back. His favourite song at the moment is the 'A-B-C' song.

Energy level: I'm in the midst of a good spurt and am at the end of my cold/virus.

Exercise: Trying out a 20 minute workout when I am not doing a dance class or performance. Hope to run at lunchtime.

Thoughts and Feelings? I've started Liam's 1st Birthday photo card and boy has he changed. I can't believe all that has happened this year. I am so grateful to have experienced it and am thankful that I have been so blessed. And I am so psyched for Holiday Season 2011!!!

What I am looking forward to: I'm loving playtime before bedtime!

Liam - Week 43

Date/Week: October 19th; week 43

My Total weight gain/loss:

His Stats:

Milestones: He can climb stairs (we've now gated the top and bottom of the stairs - only had the top gated because of his crawling up until now); first chiropractic adjustment; Has his own remote control (an old one that he can press the buttons as much as he likes)

Developmental Progress:  He definitely calls me 'mum-mum' and Aidan 'da-da'; We believe he has said 'cow' when pointing to a cow; he had been testing balancing on his own

Energy level: I'm recovering from the illness that Liam brought home last week; I've staarted taking a probiotic vitamin because I need it!

Exercise: Mostly walking but should start a lunchtime running class next week (should I get a nano?)

Thoughts and Feelings? My fall is flying by! starting to plan for the holiday season and Liam's first b-day! Also need to book his 1 year photos.

What I am looking forward to: I'd love a full night's sleep - perhaps if we stay at the hotel after the St. Andrew's Ball...

Struggles on the other side

I will admit to not posting much. Perhaps I am better able to deal with more stuff in my head - it doesn't overwhelm me as much. Then again, I am also trying to live life and not complain and be grateful for what I have. But sometimes I still have moments. Normally they're small and I can handle them with a reassuring conversation with DH. But every so often they shake me and no amount of 'I should be grateful' helps pull me out of the fear or confidence sapping funk. One such occasion happened on Monday.

We were grocery shopping. I had had a cruddy day catching up at work. I'm still sick. I don't feel comfortable in my clothes. I swear my fibroids have grown back or my kidneys are getting larger. In any case, my body image confidence is already in the toilet. But we're shopping and we run into a colleague from our old infertility support group. It was wonderful to see him! It hurt to see him. We talked. He thought Liam was so charming. We wanted to ask how things were. We didn't. We parted. We got into the car and said how great it was to see him and how we wish we could catch up with him and his wife - in fact everyone in our old group. We went through so much together. We lost them all when we got pregnant. We wish we could still support them. We wish we still had support sometimes.

Of course this interaction combined with my other feelings of vulnerability that day figured into other conversations that evening. The simple comment that siblings keep each other busy from a lady at church on Sunday. The comment was bouncing around in my head. Some days I'd love to give Liam a sibling. But I'm scared. We discussed my fear - which turned into our fear. Would it not happening rip apart our lives again? Do we want to be in that limbo again? Do we want to lose our confidence again? I don't want that...

So no commitment to try - to figure it out - we're both still not happy with what we became and still discovering who we are now. It still hurts. And we're still dealing with it by ourselves...

Liam - Week 42

Date/Week: October 12th; week 42 

Milestones: Liam has bronchiolitis = it is so upsetting to hear him wheeze. I am so scared that he may have to be admitted into the hospital. Thankfully, he appears to be doing quite well at home. He doesn't like apple flavoured pedialyte. He had his first school pictures on Tuesday.

Developmental Progress: His copying is getting better. If you call him he generally comes. He'll carry on a conversation with you if you oblige. He dances and bobs in tune to the music. Even  when sick he is so curious and is able to undo latches, press buttons and pull up stickers and paper. He's always exploring

Energy level: I'm maybe two steps behind Liam in the being sick department. I fell as if I have been hit by a ton of bricks. I hope to get some rest and get back to Chapters 1 & 3 this weekend. I've had to cancel highland because I can barely breathe, let alone dance and talk at the same time.

Thoughts and Feelings? It was my busy week at work and it was interrupted thanks to Liam's diagnosis. I am so grateful to our families for helping out so much this week. I couldn't imagine living anywhere without family with small children. I would have been lost this week without the additional help.


That said, the week had me thinking about the future and wanting to slow down a bit in order to enjoy family walks like we had on Sunday. I know sometimes are just busy but I need to make those walks and visits to the Aquarium and lazy Saturday mornings with my boys just a great a priority!

What I am looking forward to: Getting into the holiday season! Having a crafting afternoon (perhaps first Sunday in November...) or even doing a crafting fundraiser for our dancers; baking on a Sunday afternoon; getting the proposal to my committee by month's end; turkey in November; Christmas trees and decorations; our annual letter; Liam's 1st birthday; a new nephew; considerations of what 2012 will bring...

Liam - Week 41

Date/Week: October 5th; week 41 

My Total weight gain/loss: 

His Stats: 

Milestones: new foods: blue corn taco shells. back to his regular routine after vacation; 9 month doctor's visit and shot; first fall from standing where his lip was injured (and first accident report from school) 

Developmental Progress:  He's copying more sounds. He can respond to some requests (no - arms up - more - hi). 

Energy level: I am so tired... and there is so much to do

Thoughts and Feelings? Another busy week for our household and an additional busy one to follow. I just want some time to regroup. That said, I look at my two guys and am so grateful for what I have been blessed with!

What I am looking forward to: Hoping for a craft afternoon on Oct 23; Getting into the holiday season!

Liam - Week 40

Date/Week: September 28th; week 40 

My Total weight gain/loss: -34.6 lbs

His Stats: 18 lbs 5 oz ; 28 inches long

Milestones: Liam's 9 months old! New foods: zucchini, kale, animal crackers; first visit to a petting zoo and an apple orchard; first visit to the Lego store; wearing some 12 month clothing!  

Developmental Progress:  He's holding on to things with one hand when he stands; he specifically called me 'mum-mum' (which was different from 'ba-ba-ba0ba' and 'da-da-da-da' plus he was coming to me when he did it so we've taken it as official).

Energy level: Not much sleep because it has been a difficult teething week. So far the trend has continued into our vacation with the addition of a cold...

Thoughts and Feelings?It was a tough week with a sick baby while abroad. We've come home exhausted and with a bit of a cold ourselves. Plus it's going to be hectic through to Oct 15th. But it is fall so I am happy...

What I am looking forward to: Getting into the holiday season!