Welcome ICLWers!

Welcome from Bermuda - it's been really cool here (low 60s and in the 50s at night) but that's our winter. I thought I'd do a little intro this month since last month I was just trying to find my feet with ICLWing...

Me - 34, independent consultant and dancer, 4+ years into a doctoral program in management, dx with polycyctic kidney disease (not affecting fertility) and fibroids (apparently not affecting fertility). I love MGM Musicals, theatre, Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Audrey Hepburn, Doctor Who, Star Wars & Star Trek and dancing.

DH - 36, engineer, clairinet player and bagpiper, dx high prolactin levels and low motility. He loves marching and pipe bands, theatre, suspense novels, strategy games and good BBC programming.

Our Life - met in 1999 or 2000 (depends on who you speak to), dating in 2001, engaged in 2005, married in 2006 and began TTCing in 2007. We're on cycle #19.

Other stuff - we have 2 cats and 2 dogs. We love to travel (it happens when you'r stuck on a 21 square mile Island). We love Broadway and West End Shows. We both love being onstage performing or backsage making the show happen. We're planners and that probably makes this whole IF thing suck royally.

What we're doing to get by - We started increasing our commnication with each other after I had an emotional explosion in December 2007 over an unsuccessful cycle. Since December we've stopped putting our energy into TTCing and started putting it into getting healthier and spending quality time together. Last cycle we even limited BDing during the fertile time because the anxiety it has been causing in recent months was too much. It was invigorating to not think about it. We're now hoping that if DH's SA is ok in March that we can do a few rounds of IUI on Island. If we have to do IVF, we're considering doing it in the Cxech Republic and not missing out on our annual vacation.

Pondering Again...

I met with my therapist today. It was the first meeting with her since I have ventured out own my own. I only have 2 or 3 sessions left since the program is not covered under my insurance - I may have to find a way to ensure I can keep going. Anyhow, I expected to talk about my anxiety over work or school but in the last week or so things have settled down. I realized that the remaining irritance is the one thing I have no control over - this whole TTC experience. On the positive, DH and I have been talking about it more as I've been reading a book on IVF and he's getting ready for his next urologist visit. On the negative, it is really obvious that the last 18 months have taken a toll on us. We sound tired when we talk about it and we seem cynical when we begin to discuss IUI and IVF. He is still optimistic when he speaks - he still says 'when' we have children. I have found that I now say 'if' we have children. I think I am thinking ahead and preparing for the fallout from failures. My therapist was very happy that we are discussing it regularly.

So when I left I started to think about conversations we have to have with doctors. I am concerned that my GP will not be comfortable dealing with this process now that my OB/GYN is not doing anything. We have agreed to get some costs from the NJ-based RE after the urologist visit but I think we're both wedded to the idea of going to Europe. I am thinking about talking to a GP friend of mine about the option before I speak to my GP. I want contingencies.....

Considerations

DH's grandfather will be 95 on September 20th and his mom wants to throw a party. We're supposed to be doing the IVF thing at that time but since we're not sharing that fact, his mom got kind of upset thinking we were just going away for our anniversary on the 22nd. We tried to say that we'd be going for medical reasons but she then started questioning why we wouldn't go to the US and the reason things cost so much there because it was better (I don't agree). We quickly changed the subject but ended up discussing it later. If we have to do IVF, we'll probably go in August so we'd be home for grandpa's b-day. We then would need to figure out what to do for our anniversary. My 10 year grad school reunion is Oct 2-3 so we're thinking Boston but that would be 15 days for that trip plus the 25 days in August and I don't think that will be doable..... such a pain. I hope DH's tests will be ok next month so we can do injectables/IUI and then we can just do a regular anniversary trip in September as usual...

Not Much Going On

I've been bad keeping this blog up to date. My fist two weeks on my own has been slow. i've only had one project and it wasn't too time intensive. I have therefore been able to do updates to my dissertation proposal but the wait for feedback takes some time. So yes, it is frustrating but I am grateful that I am pretty relaxed.

We participated in a 15 mile Charity Walk on Sunday. It was comfortable. I took Monday off from working out and we ran a 5K on Tuesday which was ok. Tonight we're set to run 4 miles. DH is visibly trimming down even though he hasn't lost much weight. That is the more important measure though so we're both happy that he is making progress.

A Coldish Winter Weekend

The weekend has flown by! Friday was hectic at work since I was trying to leave. I went through 20,000 emails to send messages to certain people to tell them who to contact for particular events. I managed to finish everything by 3.45pm. I headed out, deposited my final check in the bank and headed to the car to wait for DH. I read while he finished up. After sorting out the animals at home, he took me to dinner at L'Oriental. I had 4 raw oysters (my favorite) and then tepanyaki rockfish with a nice cabernet while DH had pork & cabbage potstickers followed by steak tepanyaki. I literally was asleep within 10 minutes of coming home.....

Saturday was cold and windy. I got to sleep in until 9pm. I then saw that one of my committee members gave me feedback on my dissertation proposal (will work on that tomorrow) and we put in a load of laundry as we went out the door. We had breakfast at Speciality Inn and then ran around Hamilton doing errands. Then the craaziness began. DH began working on the closet organizer and after a while it started pouring. DH went into the roof because a wet spot was developing on the ceiling. There was a tiny crack and the water was dripping in. Since it was raining he couldn't do anything with the roof. He ended up setting up a hairdryer blowing towards the ceiling to dry it out so the ceiling wouldn't fall in. He's going to throw some roof paint on the crack today. Then, when he was getting back to the closet the washing machine began spewing water all over the floor. I few shamwows and beach towels later, DH took the washing machine apart and discovered his sock had been sucked into the pump. Putting the washing machine back together was another story. There is still one screw that needs to go back in but DH can't get to the hole. So finally at 9pm DH got to start on my closet.... and I slept!

Today we went to church and upon coming home DH worked on the closet while I did laundry and read. The challenge for lunch was run a 5K towards Dockyard before we ate. We did the 3.1 miles in 32.28 and then had to walk another 1.25 miles into Dockyard. We had a lovely lunch at the Frog & Onion Pub and then caught the bus home. We've since had to clean up the yard a bit from yesterday's wind and DH is doing the roof. We're supposed to have dinner at DH's parent's tonight so we're trying to get the house in order before then.