I met with my therapist today. It was the first meeting with her since I have ventured out own my own. I only have 2 or 3 sessions left since the program is not covered under my insurance - I may have to find a way to ensure I can keep going. Anyhow, I expected to talk about my anxiety over work or school but in the last week or so things have settled down. I realized that the remaining irritance is the one thing I have no control over - this whole TTC experience. On the positive, DH and I have been talking about it more as I've been reading a book on IVF and he's getting ready for his next urologist visit. On the negative, it is really obvious that the last 18 months have taken a toll on us. We sound tired when we talk about it and we seem cynical when we begin to discuss IUI and IVF. He is still optimistic when he speaks - he still says 'when' we have children. I have found that I now say 'if' we have children. I think I am thinking ahead and preparing for the fallout from failures. My therapist was very happy that we are discussing it regularly.
So when I left I started to think about conversations we have to have with doctors. I am concerned that my GP will not be comfortable dealing with this process now that my OB/GYN is not doing anything. We have agreed to get some costs from the NJ-based RE after the urologist visit but I think we're both wedded to the idea of going to Europe. I am thinking about talking to a GP friend of mine about the option before I speak to my GP. I want contingencies.....
1 comment:
I went through MFI and it was very hard on our marriage. We made it through, but it did take a toll. that was about 9 year ago, things are different now, people are a lot more informed about IF. (hugs)
I'm here from ICLW, a day early. :-)
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