On the verge....

Cycle 18 should start tomorrow or Thursday. Sometimes I wonder why I even try to be optimistic each cycle. I never thought we'd see 6 months of trying, let alone one year or 18 months. Each cycle starts off well enough. We both feel good about it and we get through the first 21 days without many doubts. Then the last 7 days drive me nuts with each twinge, sore spot and cramp. My the time DPO 12-13 come along, I am probably the last person DH wants to be around. I can't even think a positive thought! It got to the point last night that I was wondering why we should even bother trying to have kids. My rationalization was that at least we'd be able to afford real estate abroad and lovely (long) vacations.

Anyhow, my mood this month is due to doctors here. We called the RE in NJ yesterday and they told us that they did not have the results and such from DH's tests and appointment with the urologist in December. We don't know if it is the urologist's fault or the fault of the RE's rep on Island. Either way, DH was irritated. Without that info, the RE doesn't really have anything to be able to talk to us. And all I want to know is what the RE thinks are next steps (i.e. go straight to ivf since tht's the only way any of this is going to work). I also want to know how the procedure would work if we went through the NJ office and what the damage would be on our bank accounts.

I've also been reading about fibroids and ivf. While it appears I was given the ok in August (i.e. tubes not blocked), I was not given any specifics (i.e. they are outside of the uterus). So of course, I am reading about ivf with fibroids and the info is all over the place. I don't believe they do removal here so that's another trip abroad if it is necessary to remove them. If they do not have to be removed, will I then be worried about their affect on any ivf treatments. Why cant we just do this naturally and I won't have to think down this path.....

Needless to say, I am looking forward to my 2.5 mile run tonight. That should help to get rid of some of this frustration!