The Tough Part...

Hitting 20 weeks has brought home the realisation home that a lot has to be done in preparation for sproglet's arrival. Sure, there's the physical stuff like a crib and diapers but there is also the budget. Last night was budget discussion night and it was tough. It meant talking about how we do things now - which has worked well - and how we need to do things considering schooling and the lot. It was a very difficult conversation for me because I had to admit to myself that I am not where I wanted to be with the arrival of sproglet. Way back when, when I was an idealistic newlywed in 2006, I wanted to be part-time when sproglet arrived. Follow on a few year years as my plans (and it seemed, my life) fell apart as I let the infertility journey get to me, and I am nowhere near that goal. In fact, I just took on a fulltime position recently to ensure my income is regular. Granted, part of this is thanks to the fire in February (we still need to renovate) but it is also as I look at childcare and schooling and wonder if being a consultant will allow us to meet the possible expenses.

Part of the discussion was how to deal with childcare. We're exploring hiring a nanny and sharing her with 1 or 2 other families. We'd provide the apartment (once renovated - Aidan has until January) so that would hopefully cut down on our 1/2 or 1/3 of the cost. It's a good plan if we can make it work...

In the end, we are in a good place still. We have enough in savings to deal with the renovation, pay for me to stay home 12 weeks if the new job makes me take unpaid leave and still have stuff left over. Still, I am not happy using savings (I'll get over it if I have to). We're going to work on new household and personal budgets including an account for sproglet and we're still going to fund our vacation account at the same level (we're going to need it).

I know the anxiety I felt last night was just due to dealing with a new stage of planning. It was also that my previous plans were not attainable. Still, I've done a lot this year to pull things back together. Sure, there is still a lot to do but my confidence is so much better than it was last year. Still, sometimes I look back on who I was and year for those days...