The Circle of Life

It's been one hellish weekend. Instead of a slow relaxing Saturday that we had planned, an early morning call changed my life yet again. My godfather, who is my mom's cousin, had not reported to work. Since he has a heart condition, his co-worker was concerned and called the police to check to see if anything was wrong. My uncle was called since he owns the building and my parents were called since it was my mom's cousin. My mom is in Florida for my niece's dance recital so my dad called me to ask for me and Aidan to go with my uncle. I prayed all the way into the City that all would be well... but it wasn't. It appears my godfather had a heart attack and passed away. Thankfully, I didn't enter the apartment - I only saw his hand, I panicked and ran down the stairs. The police were so very helpful and between them and Aidan, I got through it. The police had to talk to my mom and my godfather's mom (she's in Las Vegas) via my cellphone because I really wasn't very helpful in providing information. When the funeral home came they sent me on a walk. Aidan helped sort everything out and then took me to our favorite restaurant to get me to eat some food.

I've been a zombie for most of the weekend. Both my godfathers are now gone. Both were very involved in my life. Both didn't have children so they treated me like their daughter. I feel so sad to not have either of them here anymore. I told Aidan that if we have a boy, I'd like to include both their first names as middle names in remembrance of two amazing men - he agreed. Now we just have to see if we can do so...

I've titled this post circle of life because in the midst of all of this sadness, we heard sproglet's heartbeat on the doppler for the first time this morning. Up until now, we just used the digital display to find the heartbeat. Hearing it was surreal. I bawled. It's amazing!