Cycle Day 19 - Day Before Transfer

I am scared. There is no other way to describe it. I am on the verge of the possibility of a life changing moment and I am freaking scared!!!!!

This weekend we went to Vienna to keep our minds off of everything. We didn't want updates on the embryos. We didn't want to sit around saying 'what if'. We drove from the Czech Republic to Austria, played tourist and for a few hours didn't think about it.... much. I've been a monster, you see. I've been snappy to my mom and husband and I feel bad about it. It's partially me feeling anxious... and scared.

Due to this we made our way to church today in Austria. We went to the 9.30 Mass at St. Stephen's - in German. And my German sucks. Still, even with me doing the responses in English - and loving the choir who did the Hayden Mass - I was able to calm myself somewhat. It wasn't meditating as much as stillness. I needed it. It didn't last long though - I was snappy at the Art History Museum.

 I hope I'll be back to my optimistic self tomorrow. I'm not as sore as last week. My right ovary still aches a bit but it is nothing like it had been. I am soooo bloated ans my profile is not something that I am used to. Still, I am excited about this - and grateful that we have embryos that are made up out of the two of us growing at the clinic. So I am excited, and hopeful and scared....