On Saturday we went to the doctor that I've been referred to for the HSG. He wasn't the most attentive doctor we've been to but as long as he does the HSG and we can start trying again, I don't mind (at this point). I have to go in for pre-op and my annual pap on March 23 and on March 31 I have to go to the hospital for the HSG.What fun, I get to go under again :( In any case, we're back on the TTC train in April.
Anyway, he reminded us that there isn't a high risk OB on the Island so we may have to spend the final weeks of the pregnancy in Boston - most likely from month 7. That promises to be a PITA but in the end it would be worth it if all goes well (knock on wood). So now we just need to get to that point!
22 February 2010
February ICLW
Welcome from a partly cloudy and pretty cool Bermuda!
I wasn't sure how to do my intro this month but since I did a 15 mile walk yesterday and am sore as h*ll, I've decided to go with old faithful...
Me - 35, independent consultant and dancer, 5+ years into a doctoral program in management (I need the motivation to work on the dissertation...), dx with polycyctic kidney disease (not affecting fertility) and fibroids (10 removed in December 09). I love MGM Musicals, theatre, Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Audrey Hepburn, Glee, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Star Wars, Star Trek and dancing.
DH - 37, engineer, clairinet player and bagpiper, dx high prolactin levels and low motility. He loves marching and pipe bands, theatre, suspense novels, strategy games and good BBC programming.
Our Life - met in 1999 or 2000 (depends on who you speak to), dating in 2001, engaged in 2005, married in 2006 and began TTCing in 2007. Due to the fibroid removal surgery, we're on a TTC break until at least April 2010. We'll try on our own and are looking at doing IVF #2 in Boston in September if we're not successful. We've joined an IRL infertility support group and hopefully it'll make sense for us.
Other stuff - we have 2 cats and 2 dogs (CKCSs). We love to travel (it happens when you're stuck on a 21 square mile Island). We love Broadway and West End Shows. We both enjoy being onstage performing or backsage making the show happen. We're planners and that makes this whole IF thing suck royally.
We did our first IVF cycle in Czech Republic (we did not miss out on our annual vacation). It was an amazing experience and I wish we could go back for cycle #2. Unfortunately, we don't have 3.5 weeks to spend overseas this year thanks to my fibroid removal surgery and recovery. Additionally, I really hope we can have a non-medically related vacation this year. We really need it.
Life is kinda crazy at the moment. There a fire in the apartment of our other house where DH's grandfather lives in the main house so we're dealing with that. I am still in recovery mode and having fun with my back - 3 weeks to go until I can dance again though. I need to play catch up with schoolwork but I am so not motivated at the moment. Also trying to get ready for my highland dancing teacher's exam....
I wasn't sure how to do my intro this month but since I did a 15 mile walk yesterday and am sore as h*ll, I've decided to go with old faithful...
Me - 35, independent consultant and dancer, 5+ years into a doctoral program in management (I need the motivation to work on the dissertation...), dx with polycyctic kidney disease (not affecting fertility) and fibroids (10 removed in December 09). I love MGM Musicals, theatre, Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Audrey Hepburn, Glee, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Star Wars, Star Trek and dancing.
DH - 37, engineer, clairinet player and bagpiper, dx high prolactin levels and low motility. He loves marching and pipe bands, theatre, suspense novels, strategy games and good BBC programming.
Our Life - met in 1999 or 2000 (depends on who you speak to), dating in 2001, engaged in 2005, married in 2006 and began TTCing in 2007. Due to the fibroid removal surgery, we're on a TTC break until at least April 2010. We'll try on our own and are looking at doing IVF #2 in Boston in September if we're not successful. We've joined an IRL infertility support group and hopefully it'll make sense for us.
Other stuff - we have 2 cats and 2 dogs (CKCSs). We love to travel (it happens when you're stuck on a 21 square mile Island). We love Broadway and West End Shows. We both enjoy being onstage performing or backsage making the show happen. We're planners and that makes this whole IF thing suck royally.
We did our first IVF cycle in Czech Republic (we did not miss out on our annual vacation). It was an amazing experience and I wish we could go back for cycle #2. Unfortunately, we don't have 3.5 weeks to spend overseas this year thanks to my fibroid removal surgery and recovery. Additionally, I really hope we can have a non-medically related vacation this year. We really need it.
Life is kinda crazy at the moment. There a fire in the apartment of our other house where DH's grandfather lives in the main house so we're dealing with that. I am still in recovery mode and having fun with my back - 3 weeks to go until I can dance again though. I need to play catch up with schoolwork but I am so not motivated at the moment. Also trying to get ready for my highland dancing teacher's exam....
19 February 2010
"Back" to Normal
My back is anyway. I still have about 3 weeks for dancing and 6 for TTC. The last week has been pretty painful. After last Friday's acupuncture visit where we realised that I had a vertebrae out of place, I've been trying to stretch, spend time on the inversion table and keep moving without killing myself. I've been a bit of a bear because of it. On Wednesday, I went to my acupuncturist for some muscle relaxing. He put needles up and down my spine and the muscles going towards my shoulders and neck. It hurt some but it was so food. This was followed by cupping. It was better than a deep tissue massage. I really enjoyed it. On Thursday, I did wake up to a few bruises and what looked like sunburn along my spine but it was worth it!
Yesterday (also Thursday) was the very important chiropractor visit. If I thought that Wednesday's acupuncture was difficult, the chiropractic adjustments were hell. I ended up with 2 vertebrae having to be realigned and more acupuncture on my muscles. Talk about smarting! I felt so good but was told that I would probably be sore when I got up in the morning. Boy am I sore..... but I can still lift my arms over my head!!!!!
PALS walk is on Sunday - 13 miles! My first milestone in getting back in shape!
Yesterday (also Thursday) was the very important chiropractor visit. If I thought that Wednesday's acupuncture was difficult, the chiropractic adjustments were hell. I ended up with 2 vertebrae having to be realigned and more acupuncture on my muscles. Talk about smarting! I felt so good but was told that I would probably be sore when I got up in the morning. Boy am I sore..... but I can still lift my arms over my head!!!!!
PALS walk is on Sunday - 13 miles! My first milestone in getting back in shape!
15 February 2010
Inversion tables and Top Gear
Sorry I didn't post this weekend - my back was a PITA. Friday night was so bad that I really didn't enjoy watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. That was followed by a crappy night's sleep. By Saturday morning I was exhausted and had a ton of work to do. Aidan thought that hanging me upside down by my feet would take some pressure off my back so he strapped me into the inversion table and flipped me upside down. He's been doing it to me twice in the morning and twice at night - and it's working. I should be able to make it to Wednesday's acupuncture appointment and Thursday's chiropractor's visit.
This weekend was filled with work on the apartment (for Aidan) and catching up on reports and such for me. It was also spent waiting for AF. It finally arrived today and it's still not too bad. Next step is the HSG that we'll schedule after Saturday's doctor's appointment and then we're on the road again.... I plan to chart this cycle to see what's up. In addition to all of this, I vegetated with more Doctor Who... yes, I'm addicted.
Tonight was our monthly visit to the IRL support group. Aidan actually participated this time. It was a good visit and I think it's nice to be a part of conversations that we understand intimately. We rounded the night off with blue corn tacos and Top Gear (addicted to that too).
This weekend was filled with work on the apartment (for Aidan) and catching up on reports and such for me. It was also spent waiting for AF. It finally arrived today and it's still not too bad. Next step is the HSG that we'll schedule after Saturday's doctor's appointment and then we're on the road again.... I plan to chart this cycle to see what's up. In addition to all of this, I vegetated with more Doctor Who... yes, I'm addicted.
Tonight was our monthly visit to the IRL support group. Aidan actually participated this time. It was a good visit and I think it's nice to be a part of conversations that we understand intimately. We rounded the night off with blue corn tacos and Top Gear (addicted to that too).
12 February 2010
My @#$%^&* Back (and other things)
It's not like I am overdoing anything. I have been slowly trying to transition back into being active so that my return to dance will be enjoyable in the next 3 weeks. My back doesn't want to cooperate. Every time I try to add some upper body exercises, my upper back starts to act up. Thankfully, I have acupuncture today but I am really starting to get tired of this. I'm going to ask if there are alternate recommended exercises that I can do and work up to these normal exercises - baby steps, KWIM???? I really want to get back into the swing of things without making additional payments to my acupuncturist and chiropractor.
Other than that, my energy level is great! The iron is finally being absorbed efficiently. I feel pretty normal and a, looking forward to more rigorous cardio (dancing, jogging, kickboxing) in the coming weeks. We haven't done the menus yet because I am really rethinking our diets for the rest of winter (soups and stews) as I realised what I've been making hasn't been the best combination of ingredients. For example, I haven't cooked with a potato in months (I use squash instead) and then I make a stew and the first thing that I'm cutting up is potatoes. Old habits....
As for dancing, the Band's AGM is coming up and I have to write up the report for the dancers. It's been an interesting year being dance director. We've achieved so many goals. I don't mind stepping back for the next year or two for others to take the role. I think we're on a great path for growth and development. Now I just need to pass my exam in April!
Other than that, my energy level is great! The iron is finally being absorbed efficiently. I feel pretty normal and a, looking forward to more rigorous cardio (dancing, jogging, kickboxing) in the coming weeks. We haven't done the menus yet because I am really rethinking our diets for the rest of winter (soups and stews) as I realised what I've been making hasn't been the best combination of ingredients. For example, I haven't cooked with a potato in months (I use squash instead) and then I make a stew and the first thing that I'm cutting up is potatoes. Old habits....
As for dancing, the Band's AGM is coming up and I have to write up the report for the dancers. It's been an interesting year being dance director. We've achieved so many goals. I don't mind stepping back for the next year or two for others to take the role. I think we're on a great path for growth and development. Now I just need to pass my exam in April!
11 February 2010
Many thoughts...
I have been having many thoughts over the last few days. They have been literally all over the place. I thought I'd write down a few to get the jumbled mess out of my head.
1. Fire Safety - I've always prepared for fires and hoped never to experience one. Visiting the apartment today was a reminder that it is a good habit to be prepared for the worst. Our townhouse has smoke detectors, sprinklers and fire extinguishers all over the place. What I realised lat one night was that we do not have one of those flexible ladders that can be thrown out a window for the 2nd floor rooms. I had one in the apartment that I lived in before I got married so I am surprised I hadn't thought of that. Needless to say, it's on our shopping list.
2. Guilt - I've dealt with various levels of guilt my entire life for many reasons. My great-grandmother said it showed I had a great moral compass. I wouldn't go that far but I do believe that it often keeps me on the straight and narrow in scenarios when I need to be strong and stay the course. Anyhow, I've been comparing the guilt that I am now starting to see in myself related to the fire (being concerned about being seen wasting money when I should be funneling it towards fixing the house) versus the guilt that I feel when I deal with the various medical crises that have been in my side of the family in the last few years. Last night's thought was that while life must go on (and it does - I've yet to experience going back in time), I rationalise the health guilt easier because I am a part of the club. I know I have kidney disease and I may be dealing with the same things my mom has dealt with one day. With the fire, I'm affected because we own the place but I still have my own bed and processions around me. I believe I am sensitive about perceptions in this area because 2 people (3 if you include the guy who caused this problem) are very obviously affected by what has happened. We've discussed this and believe that this guilt will diminish over time because life must go on.
3. Kid lectures - A very nice secretary, upon learning my age, told me this week that if I am serious about having kids, I had better do something soon. I answered with a half hearted 'whatever will be, will be'. In the car that night I told Aidan that feisty me would have commented on the many steps we've already taken while scared me would have agreed and changed the subject. Being in the middle of the road is sort of where I am right now mentally. Us having kids (or not) isn't a big a headache at the moment as getting work done on the house and apartment in order to get grandpa back in there asap. It also isn't an immediate thought as I have 7-8 weeks before we could start doing anything towards such a goal. But in this lull, and with possible new parameters, I have questioned my focus on this goal. I have said that I believe that I have been very single minded at various times over the last 2+ years to the detriment of other things. I have said that I feel more comfortable when we have more control over aspects of the situation - through planning, etc. I have also said that I preferred when I had the attitude of 'if it happens, it happens'. The differences between the first and last statements show me how conflicted this experience has made me. But there is a positive - on a good day I feel good about seeing both sides clearly. So do I see myself changing my answer any time soon... no. I think I'll be middle of the road until we enter another active decision making phase.
4. My faith - I don't often talk about religion as it is very personal to me. I will say though that since the IVF experience last year, I've not been as active as I have been in the past. That has brought me some guilt. Part of the reason I've not been as active is that in a way I was tired - it seemed like so much adversity and so little victory. However, I realise that I also wasn't true to myself or my faith in the situation. For example, I prayed a lot last summer and when we weren't successful, I was mad. On the other hand, I prayed a lot when my mom had her kidney transplant in October and I prayed a lot leading up to and after my fibroid removal surgery and in those cases things went very well. This really got me thinking. Why am I active when I get what I want and I am not when I don't? Yeah, putting it that way I felt selfish. So in preparation for Lent, I'm going to think on this a bit more as I contemplate what I will do for Lent this year. Perhaps, instead of giving up something, I should add something in to get me reconnected for the right reasons.
5. Glee and Doctor Who - really weird combination, right? Perhaps I should have said 'Glee and Doctor Who = relaxation'. Since I have been introduced and sucked into the machine that is Glee (I actually purchased the CDs - still not that hot on the writing though), I have been following a UK forum to track the reactions to the episodes. They're on episode 6 and I am probably playing attention mostly to how Glee is charting on iTunes and on the BBC over there. It's become quite fun since a) the CDs are in circulation (I think the official release date is soon) b) some songs are not on the CD. Episode 6 had the mashups which were not on the CD. One Glee song (Don't Stop Believing) is in the top 10 and the thought was that the next one might be Somebody to Love. At the moment, Somebody to love is in the 20s - some say because it's on the CD so many people won't buy the single. Well, Episode 6 aired on Monday and by yesterday Halo/Walking on Sunshine was on the cusp of the top 10 and It's My Life/Confessions is in the teens. It's been good fun watching this! As for Doctor Who, I got the Specials on DVD so I have been combing through the DVD extras. I went through the Doctor Who Confidentials for the 2008 Christmas Special, Planet of the Dead and Waters of MArs. Tonight I hope to watch the two for End of Time. It's so much fun learning about how they did certain effects, put together the set, etc.
So that's it for the moment. Until next time!
1. Fire Safety - I've always prepared for fires and hoped never to experience one. Visiting the apartment today was a reminder that it is a good habit to be prepared for the worst. Our townhouse has smoke detectors, sprinklers and fire extinguishers all over the place. What I realised lat one night was that we do not have one of those flexible ladders that can be thrown out a window for the 2nd floor rooms. I had one in the apartment that I lived in before I got married so I am surprised I hadn't thought of that. Needless to say, it's on our shopping list.
2. Guilt - I've dealt with various levels of guilt my entire life for many reasons. My great-grandmother said it showed I had a great moral compass. I wouldn't go that far but I do believe that it often keeps me on the straight and narrow in scenarios when I need to be strong and stay the course. Anyhow, I've been comparing the guilt that I am now starting to see in myself related to the fire (being concerned about being seen wasting money when I should be funneling it towards fixing the house) versus the guilt that I feel when I deal with the various medical crises that have been in my side of the family in the last few years. Last night's thought was that while life must go on (and it does - I've yet to experience going back in time), I rationalise the health guilt easier because I am a part of the club. I know I have kidney disease and I may be dealing with the same things my mom has dealt with one day. With the fire, I'm affected because we own the place but I still have my own bed and processions around me. I believe I am sensitive about perceptions in this area because 2 people (3 if you include the guy who caused this problem) are very obviously affected by what has happened. We've discussed this and believe that this guilt will diminish over time because life must go on.
3. Kid lectures - A very nice secretary, upon learning my age, told me this week that if I am serious about having kids, I had better do something soon. I answered with a half hearted 'whatever will be, will be'. In the car that night I told Aidan that feisty me would have commented on the many steps we've already taken while scared me would have agreed and changed the subject. Being in the middle of the road is sort of where I am right now mentally. Us having kids (or not) isn't a big a headache at the moment as getting work done on the house and apartment in order to get grandpa back in there asap. It also isn't an immediate thought as I have 7-8 weeks before we could start doing anything towards such a goal. But in this lull, and with possible new parameters, I have questioned my focus on this goal. I have said that I believe that I have been very single minded at various times over the last 2+ years to the detriment of other things. I have said that I feel more comfortable when we have more control over aspects of the situation - through planning, etc. I have also said that I preferred when I had the attitude of 'if it happens, it happens'. The differences between the first and last statements show me how conflicted this experience has made me. But there is a positive - on a good day I feel good about seeing both sides clearly. So do I see myself changing my answer any time soon... no. I think I'll be middle of the road until we enter another active decision making phase.
4. My faith - I don't often talk about religion as it is very personal to me. I will say though that since the IVF experience last year, I've not been as active as I have been in the past. That has brought me some guilt. Part of the reason I've not been as active is that in a way I was tired - it seemed like so much adversity and so little victory. However, I realise that I also wasn't true to myself or my faith in the situation. For example, I prayed a lot last summer and when we weren't successful, I was mad. On the other hand, I prayed a lot when my mom had her kidney transplant in October and I prayed a lot leading up to and after my fibroid removal surgery and in those cases things went very well. This really got me thinking. Why am I active when I get what I want and I am not when I don't? Yeah, putting it that way I felt selfish. So in preparation for Lent, I'm going to think on this a bit more as I contemplate what I will do for Lent this year. Perhaps, instead of giving up something, I should add something in to get me reconnected for the right reasons.
5. Glee and Doctor Who - really weird combination, right? Perhaps I should have said 'Glee and Doctor Who = relaxation'. Since I have been introduced and sucked into the machine that is Glee (I actually purchased the CDs - still not that hot on the writing though), I have been following a UK forum to track the reactions to the episodes. They're on episode 6 and I am probably playing attention mostly to how Glee is charting on iTunes and on the BBC over there. It's become quite fun since a) the CDs are in circulation (I think the official release date is soon) b) some songs are not on the CD. Episode 6 had the mashups which were not on the CD. One Glee song (Don't Stop Believing) is in the top 10 and the thought was that the next one might be Somebody to Love. At the moment, Somebody to love is in the 20s - some say because it's on the CD so many people won't buy the single. Well, Episode 6 aired on Monday and by yesterday Halo/Walking on Sunshine was on the cusp of the top 10 and It's My Life/Confessions is in the teens. It's been good fun watching this! As for Doctor Who, I got the Specials on DVD so I have been combing through the DVD extras. I went through the Doctor Who Confidentials for the 2008 Christmas Special, Planet of the Dead and Waters of MArs. Tonight I hope to watch the two for End of Time. It's so much fun learning about how they did certain effects, put together the set, etc.
So that's it for the moment. Until next time!
10 February 2010
Survived workout night #1
Last night we did 1/2 of a shoulder and back workout. It was demanding and I am pretty weak when it comes to my upper body. Still, it was a good start and it was great to have Aidan to workout with. Next workout is Thursday and I'm hoping to complete a full workout.
We now need to sit down and put together our menus that we'll rotate week to week. I now have a better handle on what we're happy eating and how to modify recipes so it shouldn't be as difficult as last year. Plus I won't have to deal with Aidan complaining about it because he is already used to it. He's thinking we'll have time to do it tonight or Thursday so we can get back to shopping on Friday. I miss my fresh berries in the morning.....
We're doing a 13 mile walk on the 21st and then Aidan has a regiment fitness test on the 22nd. We need to get back to regular walking to prepare for the 21st because I'd hate to do it cold. I am better with walking now (I think I'm 9 weeks post-op) so I'm almost there healing wise. Now I need to get rid of the 10 lbs I've gained. I'm hoping that the walk on the 21st will help!
And an update re:IVF. Aidan doesn't want to close the door on that. He says that we have the money squirreled away and he's going to try not to use it on the apartment. I told him I wasn't comfortable doing that but I understand why he would prefer to see what could be done before going into that set of savings. So we've agreed to see how things go to get grandpa back into the main house and to get started on the apartment. We also said that we should be optimistic that we might be able to do something on our own since that was our plan for April - August. So we're still moving along with plan a and will see what happens.
We now need to sit down and put together our menus that we'll rotate week to week. I now have a better handle on what we're happy eating and how to modify recipes so it shouldn't be as difficult as last year. Plus I won't have to deal with Aidan complaining about it because he is already used to it. He's thinking we'll have time to do it tonight or Thursday so we can get back to shopping on Friday. I miss my fresh berries in the morning.....
We're doing a 13 mile walk on the 21st and then Aidan has a regiment fitness test on the 22nd. We need to get back to regular walking to prepare for the 21st because I'd hate to do it cold. I am better with walking now (I think I'm 9 weeks post-op) so I'm almost there healing wise. Now I need to get rid of the 10 lbs I've gained. I'm hoping that the walk on the 21st will help!
And an update re:IVF. Aidan doesn't want to close the door on that. He says that we have the money squirreled away and he's going to try not to use it on the apartment. I told him I wasn't comfortable doing that but I understand why he would prefer to see what could be done before going into that set of savings. So we've agreed to see how things go to get grandpa back into the main house and to get started on the apartment. We also said that we should be optimistic that we might be able to do something on our own since that was our plan for April - August. So we're still moving along with plan a and will see what happens.
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