I purchased a Kindle for use during our Eastern European Adventure. I will admit that I've spent way too much time on Amazon lately and I have been reading the books that I was planning to read while in CZ. Well, today, I decided to try out the text to speech function. It's not that bad. Sure, it's still a little robotic and some of the pronounciation isn't great but it work pretty well. I listened to a whole book today while I worked and drove and relaxed...
I've started to think about other things I can do to relax while we're away. I'm going to see if my heating pad will work over there for my feet! I also will have my guided visualisation sessions on my iphone. And then there's visiting lovely places and having a 'vacation'. I wonder what else I should do to relax...
31 July 2009
I expected to have this conversation at some point...
Today has been ok. I picked up two of the instructors from NY and then went into the office. DH was at his parent's working on his bike since I need to have the car for the next 3 weeks. When I went to pick up DH we had to talk to his mom about our trip in August. She hasn't said anything to anybody and DH requested again that she keep it to herself. It was very obvious that she thinks that the fault lies in me due to my kidney ailment but I tried to make it clear that we're doing this because of male factor infertility. She then said why couldn't we just keep trying naturally and that it would eventually happen even if it takes 5 years. DH told her that his doctor wouldn't recommend that we do this if he thought that we'd be able to do this naturally - and that we should do it sooner than later due to my health. So she countered by saying that we shouldn't put my health at risk and just go straight to adoption. DH then responded that adoption would cost more from here than IVF. So she just let it be and laid into both of us about stress, waiting so long, etc.
I was a little upset after this exchange but I thought similar things 18 months ago so I let it go. DH is just going to have to deal with his mom in the future because as we get closer to going I may not be so understanding - particularly if discussions become a blame game.
I was a little upset after this exchange but I thought similar things 18 months ago so I let it go. DH is just going to have to deal with his mom in the future because as we get closer to going I may not be so understanding - particularly if discussions become a blame game.
27 July 2009
Organization...
Sometimes I am very organized. It makes me feel at least a little bit in control of my life. There are other times when I don't like organization - I just want to see what life brings. Well, I am in an organization mode. I have so much work to do in the next three weeks and the only way I see getting through it is through checklists, flowcharts, meetings and lots of emails. and once I step on that BA flight on Aug 19, I want none of this insanity. But can I get through the 3 weeks without going nuts...
I wonder why I am only an organization freak sometimes and a go with the flow chick other times. It's moment like this when I am between modes that I sometimes wish I was one or the other. Like today, I said to DH that we need to take out our suitcases and do some leisurely packing over the next 3 weeks. Afterward I began to wonder why I need that long to pack a suitcase for 3 weeks away since I usually pack an hour before I go to the airport. This time, I need control so hence 3 weeks to pack - anyhow, the suitcases at this point are still in the closet...
I wonder why I am only an organization freak sometimes and a go with the flow chick other times. It's moment like this when I am between modes that I sometimes wish I was one or the other. Like today, I said to DH that we need to take out our suitcases and do some leisurely packing over the next 3 weeks. Afterward I began to wonder why I need that long to pack a suitcase for 3 weeks away since I usually pack an hour before I go to the airport. This time, I need control so hence 3 weeks to pack - anyhow, the suitcases at this point are still in the closet...
25 July 2009
Way Too Much Information
I'm about to make a TMI post about my period. You see, I have never liked my period. I thought I would at first. I remember being 10 or 11 and reading 'Are You there God? It's Me, Margaret' and hoping like mad for my period. One summer when I was staying with my grandmother in NY, I remember spending my ice cream money on pads for teens (I thing they were in a purple package or something like that). When my great-grandmother asked me whether my period had started, I said no - I just wanted to be prepared when it did.
I think it started a year later when I was doing a dance recital. I wasn't prepared and it was literally the night from hell to get through that show. I don't remember telling my mom when I got home and I also don't remember her reaction. I do remember the cramps - and the cramps for months and months thereafter. The first two days were always the worse. I became intimate with tylenol and advil, hot water bottles, electric blankets or whatever would make it feel better. My doctor put me on iron supplements - many different types since my tummy hated them. At 17 I was finally put on BCPs because the cramps were so bad. 4 years I lived a wonderful life with 3-4 days of what passed for a period. When I hit 21 though and received the official dx for PKD, I had to stop taking them. I was sad but rationalized it well. I got into a routine to get through the first two days and basically ignored the rest of it. My period was just a 5-7 day inconvenience and as long as I was drugged up for day 1 & 2, I could survive.
I never examined my period again until we began TTC two years ago. I started with charting so I would actually enter everything into fertility friend in those first few months. I realised I was extremely regular - started usually at 10am on a Friday (unless I was stressed), Saturday and Sunday were usually hell (thank god I was at home most of the time) and the days 4-7 just petered off. Sometimes I took iron, sometimes I drank lots of water and sometimes I went running to get through the cramps. I hated the clots, hated tampons that didn't do anything during the first two days and hated my 'black' wardrobe that I had to wear fro days 1-4. I stopped charting when we hit the 6 month mark and referred to the NJ-based RE. I had had enough of getting to know myself. That wasn't the end of it though.
Last year, I discovered the diva cup when I was trying to stop using tampons. It is n't useful for me on day 1 & 2 but it is a wonderful tool for the rest of my cycle. Last year I also discovered that I hated the regularity of my cycle. Every month on 10DPO I'd start to get antsy. I was usually focused on whether my upcoming Friday morning would bring AF in all her glory - and it generally did. A few stressful months may have had late starts but start it did.
When I went to the acupuncturist in June of this year I had to share the details of my cycle and particular my period in technicolor glory. I had to describe everything from duration, to volume, to colour, to the size of the clots, to whether I felt hot or cold and where. With treatment my June cycle was almost pleasant. Hardly any cramps, shorter in duration and hardly any clots. This cycle is the closest to heaven I could have imagined. No cramps or clots at all. I just feel like me. I'm not moody, drained or a witch. I was still up a few times last night dealing with pads, etc but it wasn't the hassle of previous months and years. I even called my mom to tell her about it. I can't wait to tell my acupuncturist either. I feel normal for the first time ever during my period.
So that is my TMI post - looking at what I've written it seems a bit weird to write about it... I has gotten my mind off of BCP side effects and stims though - for a while at least.
I think it started a year later when I was doing a dance recital. I wasn't prepared and it was literally the night from hell to get through that show. I don't remember telling my mom when I got home and I also don't remember her reaction. I do remember the cramps - and the cramps for months and months thereafter. The first two days were always the worse. I became intimate with tylenol and advil, hot water bottles, electric blankets or whatever would make it feel better. My doctor put me on iron supplements - many different types since my tummy hated them. At 17 I was finally put on BCPs because the cramps were so bad. 4 years I lived a wonderful life with 3-4 days of what passed for a period. When I hit 21 though and received the official dx for PKD, I had to stop taking them. I was sad but rationalized it well. I got into a routine to get through the first two days and basically ignored the rest of it. My period was just a 5-7 day inconvenience and as long as I was drugged up for day 1 & 2, I could survive.
I never examined my period again until we began TTC two years ago. I started with charting so I would actually enter everything into fertility friend in those first few months. I realised I was extremely regular - started usually at 10am on a Friday (unless I was stressed), Saturday and Sunday were usually hell (thank god I was at home most of the time) and the days 4-7 just petered off. Sometimes I took iron, sometimes I drank lots of water and sometimes I went running to get through the cramps. I hated the clots, hated tampons that didn't do anything during the first two days and hated my 'black' wardrobe that I had to wear fro days 1-4. I stopped charting when we hit the 6 month mark and referred to the NJ-based RE. I had had enough of getting to know myself. That wasn't the end of it though.
Last year, I discovered the diva cup when I was trying to stop using tampons. It is n't useful for me on day 1 & 2 but it is a wonderful tool for the rest of my cycle. Last year I also discovered that I hated the regularity of my cycle. Every month on 10DPO I'd start to get antsy. I was usually focused on whether my upcoming Friday morning would bring AF in all her glory - and it generally did. A few stressful months may have had late starts but start it did.
When I went to the acupuncturist in June of this year I had to share the details of my cycle and particular my period in technicolor glory. I had to describe everything from duration, to volume, to colour, to the size of the clots, to whether I felt hot or cold and where. With treatment my June cycle was almost pleasant. Hardly any cramps, shorter in duration and hardly any clots. This cycle is the closest to heaven I could have imagined. No cramps or clots at all. I just feel like me. I'm not moody, drained or a witch. I was still up a few times last night dealing with pads, etc but it wasn't the hassle of previous months and years. I even called my mom to tell her about it. I can't wait to tell my acupuncturist either. I feel normal for the first time ever during my period.
So that is my TMI post - looking at what I've written it seems a bit weird to write about it... I has gotten my mind off of BCP side effects and stims though - for a while at least.
24 July 2009
And it begins.....
It's FRIDAY!!!!!
Well, I start BCPs today so that means I am at the beginning of the IVF cycle - WOW Strangely enough, I'm feeling pretty ok about the whole thing at the moment.
My mom is finalizing her paperwork for dialysis in CZ. The transportation to and from our hotel for her treatments was looking like it was going to be about $500 for the two weeks that she'll be there. I offered to pay for it since she's doing this to be supportive of me and ended up giving her $1000 that she could put towards whatever she wanted. Well, the coordinator sorted out a great deal for her because of the frequency of journeys (12 journeys - 6 each way) - $250!!! My mother is quite happy about that and I am glad that she can do a little more with the funds that I gave her.
I'm hoping for a quiet evening tonight. Except for the final installment of the Torchwood mini-series, I am hoping to identify some simple projects for the jewelry making night on Saturday in the books that I have. If people can easily follow instructions, I can relax a bit versus teach people what to do.
Well, I start BCPs today so that means I am at the beginning of the IVF cycle - WOW Strangely enough, I'm feeling pretty ok about the whole thing at the moment.
My mom is finalizing her paperwork for dialysis in CZ. The transportation to and from our hotel for her treatments was looking like it was going to be about $500 for the two weeks that she'll be there. I offered to pay for it since she's doing this to be supportive of me and ended up giving her $1000 that she could put towards whatever she wanted. Well, the coordinator sorted out a great deal for her because of the frequency of journeys (12 journeys - 6 each way) - $250!!! My mother is quite happy about that and I am glad that she can do a little more with the funds that I gave her.
I'm hoping for a quiet evening tonight. Except for the final installment of the Torchwood mini-series, I am hoping to identify some simple projects for the jewelry making night on Saturday in the books that I have. If people can easily follow instructions, I can relax a bit versus teach people what to do.
23 July 2009
Well....
I'm waiting for my period. It'll probably be here at 10am tomorrow on the dot (I hate that I am that regular) but I am dwelling on it already. When it starts I have to start BCPs. If it doesn't, a miracle has happened and praying a novena has been a wise investment. I'm thinking that scenario one is what will most likely happen.
I've been pretty fine up until now - I thank being organized for that. The problem is that now I am busy at work and a bit stressed by work and the upcoming cycle. I am more nervous about the cycle each day. Not so much the needles anymore. More so my mental state. Being on vacation will definitely help but will I turn into a monster with the pressure of taking this step will bring. DH is so stressed with work right now that he can't even find the time to think about success or failure of this endeavour and the emotional consequences. He said we'll deal with that on vacation.
Anyhow, we had our STD blood tests and now need to do urine tests. Once that's done, there's noting more to do until Aug 17th when I take the last BCP and then Aug 21 when we have our first appointment and I start stims.
In the meantime, I'm having a jewelry making party on Saturday night and then I'm busy with a project until the day we fly out. I went to the spa last Saturday for a detox wrap so hopefully that'll do until we leave as well. What I need to do is to start packing... that'll keep my mind from wandering when I do get time at home over the next 4 weeks. Plus, we have a 2-day national holiday next Thursday and Friday. Hopefully I'll get to enjoy it... I am supposed to be setting up for this project during that time.
Oh yeah, I am loving the Torchwood series!!!!
I've been pretty fine up until now - I thank being organized for that. The problem is that now I am busy at work and a bit stressed by work and the upcoming cycle. I am more nervous about the cycle each day. Not so much the needles anymore. More so my mental state. Being on vacation will definitely help but will I turn into a monster with the pressure of taking this step will bring. DH is so stressed with work right now that he can't even find the time to think about success or failure of this endeavour and the emotional consequences. He said we'll deal with that on vacation.
Anyhow, we had our STD blood tests and now need to do urine tests. Once that's done, there's noting more to do until Aug 17th when I take the last BCP and then Aug 21 when we have our first appointment and I start stims.
In the meantime, I'm having a jewelry making party on Saturday night and then I'm busy with a project until the day we fly out. I went to the spa last Saturday for a detox wrap so hopefully that'll do until we leave as well. What I need to do is to start packing... that'll keep my mind from wandering when I do get time at home over the next 4 weeks. Plus, we have a 2-day national holiday next Thursday and Friday. Hopefully I'll get to enjoy it... I am supposed to be setting up for this project during that time.
Oh yeah, I am loving the Torchwood series!!!!
20 July 2009
July ICLW - Great to Meet You...
Welcome from Bermuda. It's hot and humid here now so I'd prefer to be in AC or in another country at the moment. Still, it's awful pretty here during the summer...
Here's a little bit about my world:
Me - 35, independent consultant and dancer, 4+ years into a doctoral program in management (haven't done any work since March 15th), dx with polycyctic kidney disease (not affecting fertility) and fibroids (apparently not affecting fertility). I love MGM Musicals, theatre, Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Audrey Hepburn, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Star Wars & Star Trek and dancing.
DH - 36, engineer, clairinet player and bagpiper, dx high prolactin levels and low motility. He loves marching and pipe bands, theatre, suspense novels, strategy games and good BBC programming.
Our Life - met in 1999 or 2000 (depends on who you speak to), dating in 2001, engaged in 2005, married in 2006 and began TTCing in 2007. We're on cycle #19.
Other stuff - we have 2 cats and 2 dogs (CKCSs). We love to travel (it happens when you're stuck on a 21 square mile Island). We love Broadway and West End Shows. We both love being onstage performing or backsage making the show happen. We're planners and that probably makes this whole IF thing suck royally.
What we're doing to get by - We started increasing our commnication with each other after I had an emotional explosion in December 2007 over an unsuccessful cycle. Since December 08 we've stopped putting our energy into TTCing and started putting it into getting healthier and spending quality time together. This year we've walked the equivalent of a marathon and ran a half-marathon. We've adopted healthy eating habits and we're dabbling in acupuncture in preparation for an IVF cycle that's scheduled to start on Aug 21 ( I'll start BC by the end of this week unless a miracle happens). We'll be doing IVF in Zlin in the Czech Republic and therefore will not miss out on our annual vacation.
Other than that - we're trying to enjoy the summer!
Looking forward to visiting everyone this month!
Here's a little bit about my world:
Me - 35, independent consultant and dancer, 4+ years into a doctoral program in management (haven't done any work since March 15th), dx with polycyctic kidney disease (not affecting fertility) and fibroids (apparently not affecting fertility). I love MGM Musicals, theatre, Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Audrey Hepburn, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Star Wars & Star Trek and dancing.
DH - 36, engineer, clairinet player and bagpiper, dx high prolactin levels and low motility. He loves marching and pipe bands, theatre, suspense novels, strategy games and good BBC programming.
Our Life - met in 1999 or 2000 (depends on who you speak to), dating in 2001, engaged in 2005, married in 2006 and began TTCing in 2007. We're on cycle #19.
Other stuff - we have 2 cats and 2 dogs (CKCSs). We love to travel (it happens when you're stuck on a 21 square mile Island). We love Broadway and West End Shows. We both love being onstage performing or backsage making the show happen. We're planners and that probably makes this whole IF thing suck royally.
What we're doing to get by - We started increasing our commnication with each other after I had an emotional explosion in December 2007 over an unsuccessful cycle. Since December 08 we've stopped putting our energy into TTCing and started putting it into getting healthier and spending quality time together. This year we've walked the equivalent of a marathon and ran a half-marathon. We've adopted healthy eating habits and we're dabbling in acupuncture in preparation for an IVF cycle that's scheduled to start on Aug 21 ( I'll start BC by the end of this week unless a miracle happens). We'll be doing IVF in Zlin in the Czech Republic and therefore will not miss out on our annual vacation.
Other than that - we're trying to enjoy the summer!
Looking forward to visiting everyone this month!
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