Week 27

Date/Week: October 13; week 27 (9 weeks (63 days) to C/S)

Total weight gain/loss: -1.25lbs

Milestones: We're in the third trimester!!!!!!! Oh my goodness, it is a wonderful milestone to achieve and to still be at home. I am so very grateful and thankful to have made it to this point.

We've also taken the maternity ward tour - that certainly makes it feel more real to see the place where we're going to meet our son face to face!

Physical Progress: I think I had my first experience of sciatica on Saturday - it scared the crap out of me. 

Symptoms: feet cramps; soreness in the pelvic area and round ligament pain; nosebleeds; heartburn; mild siatica 

How do I feel about my body: I've been trying to find a sequined top for my maternity shots and it has made me really self-conscious about my boobs - they're huge compared to my frame. One size fits all does not fit them... I got a L/XL and it fits like a bandeau across my boobs and a regular tube top on the sides and from behind - very odd looking. I got upset (hormones) and started rethinking how to pull this off in 2 weeks...

Food cravings/aversions: dried apricots

Sleep: Crappy and sweaty

Energy level: Up and down - looking forward to yoga tonight because I need an energy boost.

Exercise: prenatal yoga; aqua aerobics; walking

Baby Movement: I have a boogying baby!!! At church on Sunday he would go crazy when the sining was taking place and then calm during the speaking parts. I'm still not enjoying the kick counts but he is kicking - averaging 60 kicks in an hour.

Thoughts and Feelings? I've been freaking out this past week. Between hospital anxiety and early delivery anxiety - and then overseas delivery anxiety (decreasing) and not being home for Christmas anxiety (I'm such a baby) - my brain has been working overtime. I am trying to stay calm, get through each day (and each week). I am praying hard that we don't meet sproglet until December!

What I am looking forward to: Theatre tonight to celebrate making it to the 3rd trimester; Massage and facial for the week 28 milestone - still need to book October 24; doing the maternity shots on October 28; setting up the registry (need to decide which stores - the online registry is live); working towards milestone #3!!!

What am I reading / things I’m learning: Babywearing will be a great resource; the private room in the maternity ward is available on a first come, first served basis upon request (we are so requesting it when we get to the hospital on eviction day).

And the outfit that he'll wear home...

Anxiety, Part II

I went to work today much calmer - it could have been the pumpkin spice pie last night or the oatmeal this morning. Either way, I was focused on my 3 milestones - 28 weeks in 9 days; 32 weeks in 1 month and 7 days and 36 weeks in 2 months and 5 days (granted, that date will change when I get the c/s date). I was feeling really good when I sat down at my desk. Then I received the shocking news - my co-worker's daughter, who is 32 weeks, water broke last night and she was going to have to deliver today.

Everyone who knew was worried. At 3pm they performed a c-section. So far mommy and baby are fine. The baby is over 4 lbs and so far is doing well. We all breathed a sigh of relief. Then my brain started moving at a million miles an hour. I will admit that a donut was used to keep me calm.

When Aidan picked me up after work I told him the news. I could see his brain working behind his eyes - 32 weeks is 5 weeks away for us. We want to get to that date because our doctor would be more 'comfortable' if we had to deliver here. Still,I desperately want to make it into December and Aidan agrees totally. We're visualizing a December delivery - we see ourselves holding sproglet in our home with Christmas Decorations - we're creating our reality and are going to make it come true (Sproglet, are you listening - cool out until December sweetheart!).

Anxiety

Yesterday was one of those days that had its good points and not-so-good points. I guess in the end it was a good day overall if you remove the panic attack that occurred in the midst of it.

The morning was fine. I went looking for a sequined top for my maternity photos while Aidan was at a meeting. I had no luck purchasing anything though. The store that had what I wanted was supposed to open at 10am but at 10.15 the shop girl and I were still waiting outside and I had to leave to get Aidan from his meeting. We then had a 'bringing baby home' session. It was a Q&A format and was pretty interesting. Key takeaways were that our husbands/partners need to be gatekeepers, ensuring that we can bond with our babies in the first days and weeks and that babywearing is very beneficial for getting things done and keeping baby content.

After the session we went to a fair and saw a few friends there. We also had to do some errands. During this time I was trying to psyche myself up because we had a tour of the hospital scheduled for the afternoon. We got to the hospital a little early and joined a groups of about 9 other couples. The beginning of the tour was how a woman in labour would be transported at night to the Maternity Ward. I was fine for that part but began to feel a little panicky when we entered the ward. We first visited the rooms that you're in after the birth. They're definitely hospital rooms - nothing like the room that I had in Boston last December. I believe I'll have a semi-private room as per my insurance an they're pretty tiny. I guess it doesn't matter since husbands can only be there from 8a-8p and grandparents from 12n-2p and 4p-8p. In any case, it would make my goal to get out of there... after a 4-5 day stay after a c-section. We then visited the room where all of the supplies are kept. If we deliver there, they provide the diapers, baby onesies and pjs, etc. They also provide new moms with a baby bathing demonstration in this location. They also showed us the rooms that they use for ladies being induced or if you're being monitored for pre-e. I had to sit down in that part of the tour because I was definitely feeling panicked - it is definitely being in the hospital in those rooms.

They then took us to labour and delivery. I was trying like mad to calm myself down when they showed us the room where you're checked before being given a labour room. It would also be the room where I would be checked 2 days before the scheduled c/s - this scenario would be followed by calling the maternity ward the next day for the time that surgery would take place and then showing up 2 hours before surgery on your c/s date. We then went into a L&D room. I would have to admit that the L&D room looks less like a hospital room than the other rooms. It is very tiny and therefore only one family member is allowed in there - along with the required L&D personnel. I was feeling a bit more comfortable during this part of the tour but two of the ladies were feeling faint and ha to have some water.

The final part of the tour was outside of the nurseries. Babies generally room-in with the mom. They have two nurseries there - a NICU and nursery for premies and those whose moms had c-sections (in certain situations). Apparently, in the first case, the mom would pump and the baby received the breast milk via tube (good!). In the other case, the baby goes to the mom for feeding. We were told that the hospital prefers to send the still pg moms overseas if they are under threat of delivering before week 28. Babies delivered 35 weeks and under would often end up between the 2 nurseries. Babies 36 weeks are pretty much seen as full-term pre-term.

By the end of the tour I had a bit of a headache. We got home and I ate something but was feeling pretty crappy - plus my head was filled with way too many thoughts about the hospital (and other hospitals overseas). I took a nap but still couldn't calm down. Aidan took my bp and it was elevated. I worked on calming down and once I got it down to a normal range I took it easy for the evening (watched 'Cats' 'and then a few episodes of 'House'). I didn't sleep well because I then dreamed about the hospital.

I know my anxiety isn't that abnormal. I'll bet that many ladies start getting towards the end of pregnancy and realise that the baby has to come out that the process to do so is scary. For some that may be L&D, for some it's surgery and for me it's the hospital stay in general (and the needles... particularly the IV). I'm also paranoid about - and I don't have a date, mind you) that we will be stuck in the hospital over Christmas. In any case, I really need to keep this anxiety in check somehow because I don't want it to have an adverse affect on us getting to deliver at home. I have therefore decided that to handle this, I need to be happy that I now know the procedure to deliver at the hospital, but to not spend time thinking about it until it's time to go.. There are enough other things to deal with in the coming 9.5 weeks... I need to focus on those things instead!

Waxing While Pregnant

It definitely isn't as pedestrian as driving while pregnant and not nearly as exciting as sex while pregnant but I'm finding waxing to be quite interesting.

I get waxed regularly and very early on in this pregnancy I decided that I would continue getting waxed. The reality has been that my nervousness has reduced my monthly waxing appointments to once per trimester - basically, when I can't put it off anymore. I generally get an eyebrow wax, followed by underarms, a brazilian and then 1/2 leg. Each time, I have been surprised that it hasn't hurt as much as I think that it would. It could be the wax or it could be my beautician (she's amazing). Either way, I am glad it has been positive thus far.

My eyebrows are still the worst - I think it is the proximity to my eyes. My underarms are getting better but I have also noticed recently that the hair under my arms is finer (years of waxing plus deodorant that helps to do that, perhaps). The brazilians have been the biggest surprise. It doesn't hurt any more when the hair is removed but it is sore longer afterwards - I attribute that to the increased blood flow in the area. I put on antiseptic cream when I get home and I'm usually fine within a day. My legs have been less sensitive than usual - to the point where I really don't feel it when she takes off the wax. Pretty cool!

So my next waxing session is in a month. It may be my last before sproglet's arrival. I would like to perhaps do one more in December before the c-section since I know I won't be waxed again until 2-3 months later... we'll see if I have that option.

Week 26

Date/Week: October 6; week 26 (11 weeks (77 days) to C/S)

Total weight gain/loss: +2.25 lbs

Milestones: I think we've found a pediatrician - just need to fill out all of the paperwork; the crib has been put together; I've started putting together email addresses to give to one of my friends for the shower; have to do kick counting going forward 

Physical Progress: I have a proper belly! And with the belly, the boobs are finally in proportion. It's all pretty cool!

Symptoms: leg and feet cramps; soreness in the pelvic area and round ligament pain; nosebleeds; heartburn 

How do I feel about my body: Another good week. I'm enjoying some of my fall/winter turtlenecks with jeans - I feel that I look better than in the maternity shorts.

Food cravings/aversions: apple cake; vegetarian croquettes

Sleep: Still having really wild dreams. I'm going to the bathroom every 2 hours or so.

Energy level: It's been pretty good in the last week but I am still slowing down walking-wise.

Exercise: prenatal yoga; aqua aerobics; walking

Baby Movement: He's still moving a lot. My first kick count session was interesting. He did the required 10 kicks in less than 3minutes 30 seconds. In an hour he had done about 63 kicks. Kick counting is pretty tedious so I need to start integrating other activities while I do it (I have a feeling that I'll say the same about pumping in a few months...)

Thoughts and Feelings? I go back and forth between feeling ready for this pregnancy to be over and wanting more time to prepare for the next step. I am not 'loving' being pregnant but that is probably more of an anxiety thing and less physically based. I've spent a little time thinking about whether I would do this again and in that case would I enjoy it more since I would know the drill. I really don't know. In any case, I am going to really try to enjoy the rest of this trimester (a week to go!) and as much of the 3rd trimester as possible (sure, I say that now - we'll see what I'm saying in a month!!!)

What I am looking forward to: Massage and facial for the week 28 milestone - need to book October 24; starting to make the nursery look like we're going to have someone living in there; doing the maternity shots on October 28; setting up the registry (need to decide which stores - the online registry is live)

What am I reading / things I’m learning: Still reading 'The Baby Book' and planning to read the LLL book next. We have the LLL meeting about bring baby home on Saturday so that should flesh out what I've been reading in 'The Baby Book'. We also have the hospital tour on Saturday... that should freak me out adequately (thank goodness we're going to the SPCA Fair in between the two sessions)

Quite a bit of catching up...

First, let me start this update by saying that for the first time since we entered the second trimester, I had a great OB visit. My blood pressure was ok (for me), I had no protein in my urine (plus my kidney function was great), I gained on track (a little under but I didn't get lectured) and he actually said that I may be on track to deliver on Island!!!!! I was so overjoyed when I got into the car with Aidan. So we go back in 3 weeks - which means I should realistically make it to milestone 2 with some mileage towards milestone 3!!! I am so going to the spa on Oct 24th for a massage and facial!

Between this and the next visit, I have to start monitoring movement. I have a kick counter app for my iPhone so I may use that. The next visit will include the scheduling the GTT and CBC tests.
 
We had a crazy weekend with family that resulted in us looking back at the start of our TTC journey and a particular miscarriage that we tend to avoid thinking about. Both Aidan and I talked about the weekend experience at the support group last night and how we are now approaching our infertility experience and advocating for resources that we wished that we had used. It got everyone talking about how people cope and particularly how the guy feels. Aidan was actually asked whether he would be willing to lead a men's group since he articulates everything so well. He's not sure he's comfortable about that but he does see the benefits of such a group if formed. He said in the car that he was flattered by the suggestion but he wouldn't know what to do. He said that usually when he starts speaking in the group it is something that has entered his thoughts at that moment - and last night it was seeing what what happening in his family at the moment and wanting to help since he had been through it. He said he didn't realise that the events of the weekend had affected him so much until he started talking. He then said he couldn't imagine having to come up with something to discuss or keeping people on track or on time if he were in charge of a meeting. Now let's see how he deals with the LLL meeting on Saturday morning...

In more support group news, we had another 'surprise' last night. One of the members who had been through 5 IVFs, 3 IUIs, acupuncture, Chinese herbal teas and was about to do donor egg is expecting. She and her husband were on a break as they were mentally considering the donor egg step. She said she was ashamed to say that in her case 'relaxing' had helped - she had gone off of everything she had been doing, had taken a less stressful role at work and was even considering stopping all treatments all together when it happened. We were all bawling when she finished talking. Sadly, she and her husband are moving to the UK in December. We're going to miss her!

I've booked my maternity photo session. It'll be on Oct 28th in the evening and I've chosen to have the whole thing done in the studio - I'm not in the mood to do the beach or a park for this one. We're going to try to make it fun - we're going to bring along Aidan's plaid and some sequined tops and some of the wraps that I got over the years during our travels. I am hoping it'll be fun - and that I will be having a good hair day!

Inbetween Land

It's been an interesting time. On one hand, I'm attending childbirth classes and other preparation classes with people who are so eager and naive and experiencing pregnancy through the lense of 'this is how having a baby is supposed to go'. On the other hand, I am still attending my infertility support group because the experience (and the possibility of it happening again if we decide to do this again) does not go away. When I told my mom about some of my anxiety over the preparations that we've made in the hope that we won't have to use them, she told me my problem is that I know too much. It's true. Over the years I've read so much, searched onlin, read books and blogs and message boards. I question everything, have to see both sides of a diagnosis and I cannot just sit back and be directed anymore.

I'm not totally complaining, mind you. I do not know if I would be happy/satisfied/any more sane if I did not have the information that I do have. I am more realistic about what we're facing. Sure, I still am operating with a level of faith (faith that all will go well, that sproglet will be healthy, that we'll be home for Christmas). Still, I find that I am holding myself back a bit so that I will not be disappointed - because there has been so much disappointment in the past. In yoga on Wednesday a classmate was talking about her birth plan and the midwife attending the class for the first time asked about her contingencies if the plan didn't go the way she wanted. She said theat she guesses that she'll be disappointed. I have to say that by having my contingencies, I do not believe that I will be disappointed since my goal is to bring a healthy baby home - the 'how' could take many forms and I accept that.