It's Official... I'm Sick

Yeah, the sore throat went into my head last night. Now I have a runny nose, stuffed up head and sneezing along with a cough and sore throat. At the moment I'm using Olbas Oil because I cannot afford to be drowsy at a meeting this afternoon and the pharmacy nearby does not have the meds I can take. So I just want to go to this meeting and then go home and crash. Granted, I have a ton of work to do after the meeting to be prepared for tomorrow morning's 8.30am meeting.... I hope I start feeling a bit better for some date night activities tonight (I think we were going to play some  wii Sports Resort - I'm the frisbee queen!)

So many things to do before tomorrow (when we pretty much move into the hotel until Tuesday)Top on my list - I need to order our Christmas tree and pay for delivery for just after American Thanksgiving. I need to have it decorated before we leave for Boston. I also need to send out volunteer emails for the Panto tonight because I won't have time to deal with that this weekend. And I really need to pay some bills since Nov 1st is on Sunday...

My mom is doing well. She should get out of the hospital today or tomorrow. I fedexed her a package with some Doctor Who books in it. I might send some more to her via Amazon. She's in such good spirits which makes me really happy. Kidney failure is a catch-22 really. It's great that there is dialysis to keep you alive but it really does a number on your quality of life. I remember when my mom was just about to go back on dialysis and she was grateful that she's have a rest from the anti rejection drugs that gave her awful side effects like diabetes, etc. I'd have to say though that in the last two years, she was really down about the dialysis and missed being able to do things (like travel on the spur of the moment to see my brother and the kids, etc). She's already talking about spending more time travelling to see the grandkids in Fl - it makes me so happy to see her this excited.

Gotta run - need to buy a few things for this weekend before my 3pm meeting.

My Romantic Side....

I've always been a pretty practical gal with a romantic streak. The romantic streak comes from the many books and movies that I devour. Many of the books are classics but include more modern romance novels as well (and a smattering of Betty and Veronica comics...). The movies often fall in the MGM musical category but during the holiday season the Hallmark Channel and ABC Family get a lot of use in my house.

Yesterday, I watched the Hallmark Channel for most of the afternoon. I didn't plan to but I noticed that most of my book reading lately has been more suspense and murder and not so much love and romance. Yesterday's movies focused on weddings - a topic that I pretty much avoided when I was getting married myself. I wasn't and am not a wedding obsessed person and did not do much wedding reading or watching when going through the process. I was a tad pissed about the commercialism of the entire process and therefore never got swept up in the wedding machine. Aidan and I planned everything like a project and just got on with it, contingencies and all. It was lovely but it didn't take over our lives because we didn't let it. Well, upon watching the movies yesterday, I yearned for that simpler time when for many cake flavors and choosing a wedding dress were considered stressful. I mean, if I knew that IF would be kicking our butts 2-3 years later, perhaps I would have put more fun into the wedding planning process...

What do I mean by fun? Well, I loved our ceremony and reception and I'd change nothing. However, I avoided having a bridal shower and threw myself a pseudo-bachelorette in order to control the craziness. In the back of my mind I believed that I'd have a baby shower at some point (which scared the crap out of me) and would need advice. We had owned our house for a year before getting married and moving in so bridal shower gifts seemed excessive so I respectfully told my mom to dissuade people from throwing a bridal shower. As for the bachelorette party - I was afraid of blow up dolls with strap-ons.... Anyhow, I now wonder whether I missed out on a fun experience that would have provided other positive memories during this pessimistic time in my life. Then again, my wedding memories don't really help me now when I'm down.... I guess I feel like I placed all of my eggs in the baby shower basket,  the basket went missing and I'm a little sore about it.

Getting back to being romantic... the movies also made me think about a time when I romanticized creating kids. It seems silly now. Hell, it seems utterly idiotic that we planned our wedding around my cycle so that we could consummate our marriage without protection and without the fear of getting pregnant before we were ready... oh well. Romanticizing baby making still happens one in a while. IVF sorta takes the zing out of it but  finding ways to reconnect with each other keeps the drams alive!

I can guarantee that when I am on my couch between Dec 18 and New Years that I'll be thinking this way quite a bit. I hope that instead of thinking about the past, I will use these thoughts to be more romantic in the present. I just purchased a Christmas themed romance novel to kick things off... hope I can

What a week!!!

First I want to thank everyone for their wonderful thoughts and prayers. I've finally spoken to my mom and she's doing really well. They should release her next week and she'll then have to stay in Boston for 3-6 weeks.

I've been trying to respond to everyone and catch up on ICLW. It's such a wonderful way to get to know people!!!!

Lat performance tonight for the Tattoo..... I'm cooling out today (hopefully) and watching QVC while reading blogs :)

Vacation please....

It seems that there is no such thing as a slow time in my life. The summer was supposed to be slow and I ended up managing working on multiple projects that had me doing 18 hour days. IVF #1 was done while I was on vacation but it definitely wasn't our regular type of vacation where I felt refreshed afterwards (still, it was better than if I had to do the cycle while working). Last night was the opening night of the Bermuda Tattoo, made all the more stressful because work is nuts due to the Int'l summit we're putting on next week and keeping up with my mom's progress. I just need a vacation where I can do nothing but vegetate!

My mom is doing well and is so overjoyed to have been blessed this way. She will probably be in Boston for 3-4 weeks. I am so happy that her quality of life will improve. Sure, we proved this summer that it is possible to have a lovely vacation and undergo dialysis treatments but having to be attached to a machine for 4 hours 3 times a week is tough. I pray that I will not progress to that stage... Still, my mom is an inspiration to me and I am so happy for her.

As for everything else, I am waiting for AF. I think I will do a detox afterwards to get back to normal before surgery. We've sent our paperwork to Norway and got some positive feedback - it looks like we will give them a go next year. With that out of the way, I want to just get back into proper eating and exercise and getting ready for the holiday season (Christmas Card Making Party on Nov 7th!).

I Am So Thankful...

Yesterday morning I got a call from my mom. She was crying like mad and I couldn't understand a word she was saying. I was afraid that something had happened to my dad or brother. Then she said she had to fly out that morning and that they had found a kidney for her. She was crying out of happiness and relief. She's been on the transplant list for 4 years and she got that absolutely amazing call!

So she flew out around lunchtime and the surgery took place yesterday afternoon/evening. They called my dad after midnight to say that all went well and that she was in recovery. My dad is flying up to Boston on Friday because they couldn't get him out with her yesterday. My brother will be going up from Florida. I have to hold the fort...

I was a basket case yesterday. I am now a bit calmer but still a bit crazed in need of more info. I am so thankful that she is ok and that someone's loved one will be able to live on through my mom. Thanks for the prayers and wonderful throughts. I truly appreciate them.

I may have to play catch-up on ICLW because I'm not really concentrating very well at the moment....

October ICLW - Thanks for Coming to Visit!

Welcome from Bermuda. It's a wonderful fall for us - in the 70s with lowish humidity. I'm preparing to dance at a military tattoo this week so I apologise if I don't get to play catch-up until Sunday when it will all be over!

Here's a little bit about my world:

Me - 35, independent consultant and dancer, 5+ years into a doctoral program in management (in the process of changing the methodology to simplify the study and finish...), dx with polycyctic kidney disease (not affecting fertility) and fibroids (apparently affecting fertility). I love MGM Musicals, theatre, Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Audrey Hepburn, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Star Wars, Star Trek and dancing.

DH - 37, engineer, clairinet player and bagpiper, dx high prolactin levels and low motility. He loves marching and pipe bands, theatre, suspense novels, strategy games and good BBC programming.

Our Life - met in 1999 or 2000 (depends on who you speak to), dating in 2001, engaged in 2005, married in 2006 and began TTCing in 2007. I'm having the Da Vinci robotic fibroid removal surgery on Dec 9th so we're on a TTC break until June 2010.

Other stuff - we have 2 cats and 2 dogs (CKCSs). We love to travel (it happens when you're stuck on a 21 square mile Island). We love Broadway and West End Shows. We both enjoy being onstage performing or backsage making the show happen. We're planners and that probably makes this whole IF thing suck royally.

What we're doing to get by - We started increasing our communication with each other after I had an emotional explosion in December 2007 over an unsuccessful cycle. Since December 08 we've stopped putting our energy into TTCing and started putting it into getting healthier and spending quality time together. This year we've walked the equivalent of a marathon and ran a half-marathon. We've adopted healthy eating habits and are doing acupuncture. We did our first IVF cycle in Zlin in the Czech Republic (we did not miss out on our annual vacation). We're considering doing IVF #2 in Norway next in June or September 2010 once I've healed from the fibroid removal surgery.

Other than that, we're looking forward to the holiday season.

The last two ICLW months were bad for me and I needed a break. I am looking forward to visiting everyone this month!

A World To Consider....

As a follow-up to the last paragraph of yesterday's post, when I told Aidan that our doctor had left the clinic, we had a long discussion about the three options that I mentioned. We agreed that we really liked our doctor and we really liked the clinic. We also discussed why he is said to have left - the clinic getting too large, scheduling issues, loss of that personal touch. From our perspective we did not feel this way other than our waits for the first two visits (better than waits we've had elsewhere though...). Others who have cycled there in 2007 and 2008 said that it is much busier than the past. We therefore aren't fussed about having another doctor assigned but thought it would be ok to take the opportunity to consider other options.

First I looked to see if our doctor had joined another clinic elsewhere. It's early days and his name has not shown up anywhere yet. So, I then moved on to looking at clinics in Prague and Brno because they are easy to travel to. There are a few options where people have cycled and have made good comments. We both wouldn't have trouble securing acupuncture services but both are cities and Prague is very touristy (we both preferred the homey feel of Zlin). So while an option, I do not know if we would seriously pursue something like that.

I then looked at Boston and the cost to cycle with the doctor doing my fibroid removal (she's an RE with quite a few papers under her belt). We discussed our desire to pay for a multi-cycle package (and whether we can afford it), the cost of medications, the need to fly back and forth and the related stress. It would be doable but finding the money to purchase a package would be somewhat difficult.

We then looked to see where people in the UK go after they are not covered under NHS anymore (or if they don't want to wait for an appointment) and found a place in Norway. Aidan was interested in exploring this option because he loves Norway (he's been there twice) and has wanted to take me there for years. This option looks promising. It requires a consult visit and meds are purchased in the UK but then you begin the cycle at home and report on 10 days in. This is the option we were hoping for previously because it means we only have to be there for 7-10 days. In addition to providing past records and info on previous cycles, they do a full fertility work-up on both partners during the consult and will create an individualized protocol that meets the couple's needs. They are a small clinic, do about 400 cycles a year and I have found a board where people actively discuss the location. We agreed to compile a file on this option and then do an in depth comparison after I am done with the fibroid surgery. It's an exciting option and would take us on another 'vacation'!