Diet and Exercise.....

.... will start in earnest on Jan 12th. Actually, the exercise is taking place - just not as consistent as I'd like. And as for diet, I plan to be eating pork roast tomorrow night and party food on Sunday so I thought it wise to start cutting out sugar and red meat and dairy after that. I need to do a colon cleanse and I might do a liver cleanse as well. After these parties I should be rid of all of the cookies and candies that are left over from the holidays. I now need to plan the parameters of the cleanses.

As for exercise, we walked 5 miles on Sunday and I walked 2 miles last night. I am supposed to run two miles at a steady pace tonight. I hope there is enough light. We may have to start running mornings since it is usually dark when we get home from work. Plus I've discovered that if I use the the wii Fit free run setting, I can't use my nike + ipod (it does not register running in place). I am also thinking about adding Power 90 workouts to the training schedule but haven't figured out where to place them. I can barely get up in the morning as it is.

And TTC. Well, I may be DPO 5 or something like that. I haven't been using OPKs or really even tracking my cycles lately so I am assuming that I Oed on or around Day 14. While I am glad that I don't have to temp anymore, sometimes I miss the certainty of knowing that I've Oed. The OPKs are ok but they've been getting expensive (I use digital) so I've been rethinking that. Come to think of it, this whole TTC experience has started to get really pricey since last March. And to think, if we're successful in achieving our goal, then we'll be talking about spending a lot more money.... I think I need to take a look at my budget!

Christmas Eve

This time last year I was a basket case. I was in the midst of AF after a cycle where we were so sure we had succeeded. We had a friend and a relative who were newly pg. I broke down in the car and DH had no idea how to console me. The episode resulted in us agreeing that we needed to talk through all of these emotions so we're not keeping them bottled up and waiting to explode. Little did we know that was training for a trying year.

This year I am on the verge of the rest of my life. I've lost myself not only during this year (and 17 cycles of TTC). I had lost myself before that. My gift to myself this year is to get back into doing the things that I love to do. It sounds easier than it will be to make a reality but I have to do this for myself. Top on that list is finishing the degree. The second relates to dancing (and teaching). And third is to do work that I am eager to get up to do in the morning - and I am on track to do that! In place number 4 is expanding our family. It is not a priority because I now know what happens when you let that guide your life....

Anyhow, I'm feeling grateful, blessed and full of Christmas Spirit right now. I feel at peace and that is more than I could have ever asked for!

Sick of Being Sick

On Saturday morning I felt great! I had energy, was focused and got a lot done. At about 2pm I took a nap. When I woke up, I was sick - congestion, cough, yuck! By Monday my voice was gone and I've spent the last few days miserable. I've been doing light workouts to get the congested chest moving (which seems to be working) but I am still sick. Such a PITA with Christmas 8 days away.

I read a book - a novel with an infertility theme. It was good until the rushed ending. Of course, in my cold medication-incuded haze and PMS (I'll know for sure on Fri/Sat) I began to over-analyze the last 14 months of my life. Have I lost my mind. Have I let TTC take over my life. Am I an emotional basket case? Does me not wanting to hold babies beam that I am selfish and self-absorbed. Does my DH think that this experience has made my irrational side surface. I know this all seems a bit excessive but there are times when I do feel that I've let this aspect of our lives take over. I may not have been bridezilla 2+ years ago but infertility seems to have made me into a person I don't know at times.

Check-up

I went to my nephrologist today. My kidney function is good but my cholesterol is up and they still can't give me anything since we're still TTC. They said that if I have to take fertility meds that it won't interact with my current meds or affect my kidney finction too much. They're going to get me some genetic counseling info from Brigham & Women's in Boston since we'll have to make that decision if we end up doing IVF. So all in all, pretty good!