Irritation

After my dentist appointment I went to my gyn's office to set up my annual check-up, change my insurance info, etc. They couldn't accept my appointment request. Apparently, there are only 3 Ob's practicing on the Island since 2 retired in the fall. My doctor is overwhelmed with pregnant women (she's currently seeing 200+ pregnant patients). So they're asking their gyn patients to get their paps and breast exams done through their GP.

In my case they'll also send my GP all of our infertility records because the GP will have to deal with that as well. I stood there looking lost for a while. I now have to start from square one explaining what has been going on to my GP.... I'm going to give the GP a call in a few minutes.

Sick of Being Sick

On Saturday morning I felt great! I had energy, was focused and got a lot done. At about 2pm I took a nap. When I woke up, I was sick - congestion, cough, yuck! By Monday my voice was gone and I've spent the last few days miserable. I've been doing light workouts to get the congested chest moving (which seems to be working) but I am still sick. Such a PITA with Christmas 8 days away.

I read a book - a novel with an infertility theme. It was good until the rushed ending. Of course, in my cold medication-incuded haze and PMS (I'll know for sure on Fri/Sat) I began to over-analyze the last 14 months of my life. Have I lost my mind. Have I let TTC take over my life. Am I an emotional basket case? Does me not wanting to hold babies beam that I am selfish and self-absorbed. Does my DH think that this experience has made my irrational side surface. I know this all seems a bit excessive but there are times when I do feel that I've let this aspect of our lives take over. I may not have been bridezilla 2+ years ago but infertility seems to have made me into a person I don't know at times.