25 June 2009

Rest in Peace Michael Jackson

I got home this evening and was shocked to find out that Michael Jackson had passed away. I am probably just one of many people loved Michael Jackson's music. I was about 8 when Thriller was released and 9 or 10 Michael Jackson mania swept the globe. I had pictures of him all over my closet door. When my dad would bring home foreign newspapers, I'd cut out pictures of him and put them up as well. It was the first album where I intentionally memorized all of the songs. I had to do the Thriller dance in school and I had a Hallowe'en Party where we watched Thriller and The Making of Thriller. I wanted to dance like him. I wanted to have the same level of energy that he projected on stage. I remember watching Motown 25 and being in complete awe that he had an amazing performing career before Thriller. As my teen years progressed I grew to appreciate other artists but never to the level that I appreciated Michael Jackson.

My next major Michael Jackson period was in college. I had a dorm-mate who introduced me to the Off The Wall album. It was so pure, so genuine. I loved the entire album! Believe me, there aren't many albums that I can stand to listen to from beginning to end. I studied to it, danced to it and relaxed to it. In comparison to the other albums, I considered Off The Wall the ultimate Michael Jackson Album. I would even venture to say that PYT on the Thriller album fit the Off The Wall vibe as well.

Years have passed and in the midst of the negative press, strange court cases and odd behavior, I have never forgotten the amazing talent that was Michael Jackson. I will probably spend the next few days rediscovering my favorite songs, exploring others I haven't listened to in years and watching the tributes that will undoubtedly come in from all over the world. He has impacted so many artists, so many sick individuals and so many regular people due to his talent and his philanthropy. It is a shame that he has passed before he was able to do what he loved doing - performing for all those who loved him.

24 June 2009

Slight Change of Plans...

I've decided to start the BC pills in July. I need to take the BC pills for at least 17 days before I fly over there and I totally screwed up my predicted cycle start dates because I tried to calculate them without a calendar. I can't believe I crewed the counting up so badly - I guess I was more nervous than I was admitting to myself.

Therefore, now that I know when the July cycle should start (July 25), it doesn't make sense starting BC in June (I fly on Aug 19 and first appointment is Aug 21). The clinic is fine with my choice because the timing still works.

Of course, I also read as much as I could as well and most studies say anything from 10 - 30 days for BC before IVF. So I will be drug free for one more month.....

Day 13 DPO Musings...

This is my last 'natural' day 13 DPO before IVF. I don't hold much hope that this cycle produced a miracle. I am just hoping that AF comes on Friday so I can have a relaxing detox wrap tomorrow afternoon without having to take extra precautions. In any case, I'm feeling kind of sentimental. I think I was 20 or 21 when I tossed my last box of BC pills since my doctor didn't want them to negatively affect my kidneys. Years later I discovered the Personna monitor and I grew to understand and respect my cycle. It has been very regular, a PITA on the first two days but all-in-all it hasn't been as bad as experiences described by many of my friends.

And then there is looking forward. I am feeling very positive as this is my first cycle and there will be a lot of new experiences. I think it will be odd not to have to worry about AF in July or August - great for swimming and spa visits though! I'm also looking forward to travelling, getting some rest in the midst of all of this, seeing new towns and cities, and hopefully we will have a successful cycle.

My final musing of the morning - I really love my life at the moment. I feel happy in so many aspects of my life. I want and need to remember this as I go through this process and defininitely if we recieve a not-so-happy end result. I have a wonderful husband, great family and friends, loving pets, work that I enjoy, hobbies that are a pleasure to participate in and a home that is sometimes better than a vacation - and Bermuda truly is another world! The pursuit of parenthood is something we believe will make everything feel complete - in actuality it is just another path that we can take and would like to take in this journey called life. I am hopeful and pray that we do get to travel the path but I also realise for now that I know that I can be happy with life because I already know what it feels like.

22 June 2009

Great Weekend of Highland Dancing... and a bit more background

I started highland dancing about 7 years ago. I've danced since I was 5 and always wanted to try highland dancing but never knew how to get started. When DH and I started dating I said I'd do something for the pipe band if he took ballroom classes. He wanted me to say that I'd learn to play the pipes - I decided that the dancing was more my pace. I didn't intend to perform at first but they had me on parade in a month and I've been teaching and dancing since.

In 2005, when the band celebrated their 50th, we had some of the former dancers come back to the Island to celebrate. We had a performance at one of the parties and I received some feedback afterwards form one of the former dancers that now lives in Canada that we were doing steps wrong. I quickly got frustrated because we really had no opportunity to fix anything - we're not recognized by any highland dancing board and since we don't charge for classes, getting proper instruction would either involve going abroad for workshops or bringing an instructor here. With that plan, it took a while to make the plan a reality. We almost got to go to Ontario last summer but the course was cancelled. We then decided that we needed to bring an instructor to Bermuda and started working on it last fall.

In 2005, at the Bermuda Tattoo we had a dance group come down from Ontario, led by n amazing teacher, examiner and judge. We contacted her this past winter and she and her husband agreed to come down in June. Well, she arrived last Thursday and beginning on Friday night we had a weekend workshop for our beginner and senior dancers. The beginners had 6 hours of instruction and the seniors had 8 hours. We managed to go through all of the dances that we knew and cleaned them up and then we learned new dances. Our instructor felt that we had great potential and supports us pursuing exams. If we get the ok, we'll have an examiner come down from Canada to test the kids and the exams would then be followed by a workshop to encourage them to work towards the next level. I would have to work towards my teacher's certification while I do the exams so it might be intense for a while. I'm excited though because I really want the programme to grow. I eventually want this to develop into a proper dance school!

So at this moment I am exhausted from 12 hours of dancing. I did lose some weight - which was great considering the amount of food I ate on my birthday yesterday :) I am excited that things are progressing and I can now concentrate on getting ready for DanceBermuda (I'll be coordinating the ABT's summer intensive on the Island) and then, of course, the Eastern European Adventure.

On a related note, just a bit more info on why we've decided to go to the Czech Republic for IVF. As you know, we live in Bermuda and we do not have any REs on the Iland. If you have IF issues, your OB/Gyn can provide a referral to see doctor from a clinic in NJ that visit the Island for a week every 3 months. If you proceed with treatment, you then have to fly back and forth to NJ and also work with the OB/Gyn locally. Many people decide to take more control and fly to the US, Canada, the UK or other European countries for treatment. I've had people who I know who have had IVF tell me about clinics in Colorado, California, Ontario and the Bahamas where I could just go out and have everything done. Needless to say, it is pricey to do that. The Bahamas had a great program where they treated the experience as a vacation and you basically relax and enjoy the Island while you go through treatment. I liked the concept but I wasn't crazy about going to an Island, being from one. So we then heard about the Czech Republic through a CNN report. We thought it would be interesting because it was a part of the world we wanted to see more of vacation-wise and our research into the clinic was positive. We contacted a coordination company and got information and then joined a boar and tracked people's experiences for months. After talking with our respective doctors, they agreed it was a good idea so we decided that's where we are going to go. The price is reasonable - for this cycle we're going to py what we usually pay to go on our annual vacation. Sure, if we have to do more than one cycle, then we'd pay more than our vacation budget but it's still cheaper in the long run than flying back and forth to the US. We're looking forward to the experience and hope we are successful while we have a vacation.

20 June 2009

Welcome ICLWers.... and kicking it all off on my B-day!!!

Welcome from Bermuda. Also, Happy 1st day of Summer and Happy B-day to me (on June 21st)!!!

I thought I'd do a little intro this month ... So many things are going on!

Me - 35 (on June 21st!), independent consultant and dancer, 4+ years into a doctoral program in management, dx with polycyctic kidney disease (not affecting fertility) and fibroids (apparently not affecting fertility). I love MGM Musicals, theatre, Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Audrey Hepburn, Doctor Who, Star Wars & Star Trek and dancing.

DH - 36, engineer, clairinet player and bagpiper, dx high prolactin levels and low motility. He loves marching and pipe bands, theatre, suspense novels, strategy games and good BBC programming.

Our Life - met in 1999 or 2000 (depends on who you speak to), dating in 2001, engaged in 2005, married in 2006 and began TTCing in 2007. We're on cycle #19.

Other stuff - we have 2 cats and 2 dogs. We love to travel (it happens when you're stuck on a 21 square mile Island). We love Broadway and West End Shows. We both love being onstage performing or backsage making the show happen. We're planners and that probably makes this whole IF thing suck royally.

What we're doing to get by - We started increasing our commnication with each other after I had an emotional explosion in December 2007 over an unsuccessful cycle. Since December we've stopped putting our energy into TTCing and started putting it into getting healthier and spending quality time together. This year we've waled the equivalent of a marathon and ran a half-marathon. We've adopted healthy eating habits and we're dabbling in acupuncture in preparation for an IVF cycle that's scheduled to start on Aug 21 ( I'll start BC at the start of my next cycle - next week). We'll be doing IVF in Zlin in the Czech Republic and therefore will not miss out on our annual vacation.

Other than that - we're trying to enjoy the summer!

Looking forward to visiting everyone this month!

17 June 2009

Organic Cosmetics.....

So Monday's nutrition class was about organic products. I thought I had most things under control. I was pretty good about the fruits, vegs and meats - prioritizing what to purchase since eating organic is expensive. I also thought I was doing well with my cosmetics but I knew that I was awful with cleaning products (I have a few good ones but since we got the housekeeper, I let her use what she likes). Well, I still suck with my cosmetics. We were referred to the website www.cosmeticsdatabase.com and the initial search on sunscreen in the class was shocking. I then went back to work and searched my Olay Complete face cream (moderate hazard rating of 4 but it has some awful stuff in it). When I got home I searched my Ojon hair treatment (moderate hazard), Pantene Time Renewal Shampoo & Conditioner (moderate hazard), St. Ives body wash (high hazard) and dove deodorant (moderate hazard). Needless to say, I was not impressed. I looked into my make-up today and many are moderate hazards but a few were high. And here I thought that I was doing well.....

Anyhow, I've decided to not throw out everything. I'm going to just replace things that I use a lot (shampoo, soap, face cream, deodorant) and since I don't use make-up much I will just replace the items as I toss them. I used the site at lunchtime to identify products that are low hazards and ordered a few items from Amazon (Burts Bees and Desert Essence products) and Costal Classic Creations (solid shampoos, etc). I then popped out an purchased a replacement soap as the St. Ives got tossed. I'm a bit peeved about my Oil of Olay though.... hope I find a cream that works as well. I also need to choose a sunscreen.

15 June 2009

Relaxing Weekend...



We're in the midst of a long weekend as today is National Heroes Day. It used to be the Queen's B-day Holiday but that is now observed on the Saturday before the 3rd Monday of June. National Heroes Day was supposed to be in October but it was moved to the 3rd Monday in June - I like it better since the weather is nicer in June. We've had a busy weekend of parades and visiting the Tall Ships.

I have also managed to finish 'The Infertility Cure' by Randine Lewis. My acupuncturist wanted me to go through it before our next appointment so I'd understand the treatment - plus, I'll probably have to do acupressure on my own when I'm in CZ. It is an excellent book and I need to go through it again to take a few notes.

We've finally booked our flights to the UK on British Airways but we still need to book our Aer Lingus flights. We've been reading through Rick Steves book on Prague and the Czech Republic. It made me glad that we hadn't rented a car yet. The book directed us to http://www.ebctravel.com/ because for the length of time out there it may be cheaper to lease - plus the insurance is better. We submitted a quote request yesterday and should hear back soon.