Liam - Week 14

Date/Week: March 30; week 14 

My Total weight gain/loss: -30 lbs 

His Stats: 

Milestones: First time playing outdoors at his school with suncreen /hat, etc. First time painting in class (yellow paint).

Developmental Progress: He's grabbing things consistently and also seems to like touching things. He now is starting to find his book with all the different textures interesting. Also, when he goes to sleep on his own he often reaches out to touch one of us. He is such a wiggly worm. When we change him he keeps attempting to roll over on to his stomach. I thing we really need to start childproofing the house because he wants to get moving!

Sleep: Both of us have had a tough week. Sometimes we believe that we'll neve get a decent night's sleep ever again. While we haven't hit the wall yet, it has been 3 months without a decent night's sleep. And with this recent growth spurt, Liam has gone from waking up once per night to getting up 2 or 3 times... we're pooped!

Energy level: I'm feel a bit run down this week... I've started taking iron tablets again so I hope it helps.

Exercise: I've been walking and had my first run with Liam in the stroller. I now need to up my calories again (adding some snacks back in) to have something to burn since I don't want my body to hold on to anything unnecessarily... Hoping to realistically add in some resistence training or Zumba when Aidan is home since it doesn't happen when I have Liam home alone - I'll take him walking or running in those situations.

Thoughts and Feelings? Feeling a bit odd about my career - more akin to not feeling like a leader and more like a follower at the moment. Wondering if I'll ever get my fire and confidence back. Still haven't done one thing for school either and not sure where to start to get back on track. 

On a more positive note, we've tentatively decided to go away on our own for our 5th Anniversary in September. Contemplating Vegas or the West Coast of the US in some form. 

What I am looking forward to: Easter (plus the Highland Exams will be over); teaching 2 Saturday dance classes starting April 23 or 30; Vacation in 6 weeks!

So be it...

Sorry to just be posting weekly updates - I'm amazed that I am managing to do even that. I am tired. Tired of trying to reclaim my place in the working world. Tired of nights with interrupted sleep. Tired of trying to figure out how to fit my life back together now that I see how disfunctionally I have been living it for quite a while.

I wish there was a group here for the survivors of IF. The graduation concept doesn't ring true to me anymore because I feel even more intensely that I cannot complain about anything related to having Liam because I need to be grateful to have him in the first place. Granted, I felt similarly during the pregnancy but it just feels more lonely right now.

This month, in addition to returning to work, I've revamped my budget to include daycare, education and personal accounts for Liam. Boy, this little guy is expensive! In tightening my belt I realised two things:

First, I looked at my IF related debt that I hadn't budgeted for - the acupuncture and the supplements, the massage treatments and travel related expenses, the wheat grass and the digital monitors and watch, the fitness classes and dvds. Thankfully we did budget for the IVF so those costs are not hanging over our heads. I put together a plan to pay off those debts that I had put on credit cards...  I don't regret doing it but it sucks to still be paying for it.

The second relates to the future. We may be done as it relates to having kids. Other than the expense, I am not willing to go through fertility treatments in the future and Aidan agrees. Whether it be IVF or drugs, we just do not want to go through the rollercoaster ride ever again. That means that if we were to decide to try for a second in the future, it will be au naturel. Which probably means that there will be no more. And we're ok with that. We're not that hot on the topic of additional kids at the moment since the new budget has just been implemented - and two kids in daycare will be really pricey here. Still, we'll discuss again in September and see if we feel the same. And then that may be the true end of this 'growing our family' stage of our lives...

Liam - Week 13

Date/Week: March 23; week 13 

My Total weight gain/loss: -33.2 lbs 

His Stats: approx 13lbs 6oz

Milestones: Liam is 3 months! He has gotten through his first fever/viral infection (4 days at home...). Gave his first card - to his Grandmother for her birthday on March 21st.

Developmental Progress: Liam is babbling - he tries to talk back to us and he talks to his animals. It is still more in his throat/mouth, i.e. you can't really understand what he is saying. However, numerous people have said they have heard him say hi...; if you sit him up in his boppy or on the couch he stays up; during tummy time he moves himself around 90 degrees. He also pushes himself up on his arms and tries to figure out how to go forward.

Sleep: since I've been home with him, he definitely naps better since he's on a schedule at his nursery school. He is still sleeping well at night and is up once or twice to be fed/changed. 

Energy level: I caught Liam's viral infection so I've been getting through a bit of congestion. I'm feeling better today. My walking pace is back to normal so perhaps my energy level is improving.

Exercise: We did purchase a jogging stroller yesterday - I just need to get a car seat adapter. Hopefully we can both get some exercise with Liam in the jogging stroller! I'm still hoping to get in some Zumba and resistance training once Liam is back to his regular schedule (perhaps Thursday???)

Thoughts and Feelings? The whole fever/virus thing freaked me out this weekend. If Liam wasn't a few days shy of  3 months he would have been sent to the hospital. I barely slept on Friday night and Saturday and I was sick on Sunday so it was a draining few days. I am so happy to see him back to normal. I hope he doesn't get sick often...


On the other hand, I'd have to say that I am so thankful for Aidan. He is a true gem. He is a true partner and I am so grateful that I share this journey with him. 

What I am looking forward to: I'm ready for a vacation!!!

Artemis cleaning Aidan

Liam's favorite spot

St. Patrick's day with his shillelagh 

Sick little boy

Daddy's home!

The little guys are sleeping

I'm 3 months old!

Gotta pose with mummy too!

Liam - Week 12

Date/Week: March 16; week 12


My Total weight gain/loss: -32 lbs

His Stats:

Milestones: It appears we're at the initial stages of teething; he now has a bank account and an education trust (my poor budget...)

Developmental Progress: He's at the beginning stages of teething - lots of drooling, chewing on everything. He's definitely copying sounds and is doing pretty well with them. He's sleeping more on his own and for longer durations (when he does decide to sleep...). If he's in your lap he pushes to stand up now. He grabs everything and clings on to it.

Sleep: He's been sleeping for 3-4 hours and occassionally up to 6 hours when he's really tired. It's tiring for us but it's working somehow...

Energy level: Crappy week - I think I have a bit of a cold with my allergies...

Exercise: Just walking and dance warm-up. I am back to my old walking pace. I need to find workout time somehow.... I feel sluggish!

Thoughts and Feelings? Not feeling really productive even though I'm getting a lot of work done - haven't touched anything school related and just trying to transition back onto a board that I am am member of. I really want to dedicate some time for me but whenever I do I end up with a fussy baby. Aidan does help beut we just came off of a week where he had to be out 3 nights of the week. He's in a training camp Friday into Saturday this week so I've had to cancel my hair appointment and waxing appointment... oh well...

What I am looking forward to: We've booked our May trip (cottage in Canterbury; hotel in London and airfare for Liam) and still need to sort out the car. Easter is coming! Need to get Aidan to talk to his folks about Ireland in September!

Liam - Week 11

Date/Week: March 9; week 11


My Total weight gain/loss: -30.4 lbs

His Stats: approx 14 lbs

Milestones: Liam has made it through a week in the baby class and the absolutely love him!

Developmental Progress: He is comfortable sitting up in a swing. We tries to copy sounds - we really notice it with 'hi' and 'hello' since we usually greet him before we start talking to him. He LOVES music. He is so calm when it is playing so we continue to play classical music at night and also will play music in the morning when he is in his crib (it allows us to get ready).

Sleep: He slept through two nights but he has been up every 3 hours for the last two... As for napping at school, he revealed our secret... He flipped himself to his stomach in his crib yesterday morning and slept for 2 hours (he averages 20 minutes on his back).

Energy level: My energy is fine but my allergies are making me a bit drowsy. I need to see my GP for some meds!

Exercise: The 4 mile walk went well on Sunday. I am so out of shape but it felt good to get moving. I need to make sure I splint my abs when I work out. My home schedule was essentially scrapped last week by Liam but I am hopeful to get in a workout nights when Aidan is home.

Thoughts and Feelings? Slowly developing our new normal in the house. Hope to add back school work and evening walks along with bottle washing and laundry... Also need to get back ino things like sending out family birthday cards!

What I am looking forward to: Need to start planning the logistics for our May visit to the UK. I'd love some nice weather this weekend in order to do some work in the garden (Aidan did the lawn last Saturday). Pizza on Friday!

At School

Ready to go!

Bassinet is almost too small

I'm not awake

Liam - Week 10

Date/Week: March 2; week 10

My Total weight gain/loss: -28.6 lbs 

His Stats: 

Milestones: Liam has started at the nursery full-time and I have gone back to work. He was baptised on Sunday and his godparents are totally smitten with him. He did well with his 2 month set of shots last Wednesday.

Developmental Progress: I guess he is cooing but honestly I think he is trying to copy what we're saying to him. When we say 'hello' to him he seems to be able to be trying to say it back to us. He is able to copy a smile when he is being smiled at and will also stick his tongue out back at you. He's grabbing things and holding on tight - especially when it is my hair!
How do I feel about my body: Now that I am back at work I can be more consistent with my meals and snacks. It means that I need to update our grocery list because it is better for me to bring my lunch to work instead of buying it (walking past those donuts today was tough...). 

Sleep: In the last week he's been feeding every 2 hours. It appears to be growth related. Now that I am getting reports on his naps during the day, I notice when he sleeps more or less at night. We're working towards an 8.30 bedtime and it's moving well in that direction. 

Energy level: Better this week but my allergies are starting to enter the equation! 

Exercise:  we're doing a 4 mile walk on Sunday. I am trying out a schedule of cardio (Zumba) every other day and resistance training (Chalean Extreme) on the other days with Wednesdays off (i have dance class on Wednesdays). 
Thoughts and Feelings? It's been an emotional few days with the transition to nursery school and work. I m so sad to leave him in the morning yet I am happy to be in the office. Evenings at home have involved a lot of nursing and cuddling until my work-out time when Aidan cuddles him and gets him to bed. Soon I have to put school work and teaching dance back into the mix...

What I am looking forward to: Date night on Thursday - we're going to a play while Aidan's brother and SIL will babysit. 

Liam's Baptism

Today we celebrated Liam's Baptism. It was a wonderful  but a little nerve-wracking all the same. Consider having a two month old in a christening gown that was made out of Aidan's dad's altar server surplice that was made by his mom 55-odd years ago and will be then by used by family members to come. Yes, I was paranoid about Liam spitting up all over the gown so we put a white onesie with cream colour baby legs and a bib on him for the trip to the church and then put the gown over them (less the bib) and the beginning of the ceremony.

At that point Aidan became the nervous one. Aidan had to brief the Godparents as to what they had to say and do. There were three parts of the ceremony. The first took place at the door of the church. We all had to speak (basically answering 'we will') and make the sign of the cross on Liam's forehead. Once that portion was done, we processed to the front and the service flowed with Liam fussing a bit until the second part where we and the Godparents went up front for the Baptism part of the service. Liam cried a bit when the water was put over his head but literally fell asleep when the oil was put on the crown of his head. He was pretty silent for the balance of the service and slept through the final blessing at the front of the church. He woke up again for the pictures with everyone and received congratulations from many in the congregation.

We then had a breakfast at our house and it was great to have everyone over. Liam was passed around and he enjoyed every moment of it. He is just such a sociable little guy. We are so grateful for the gifts that Liam received - they will be treasured and we will ensure that he looks at them as special mementos of a special day. Perhaps the most interesting gift was a shillelagh made out of Bermuda Cedar. It was made by Aidan's dad and presented to Aidan's grandfather for Aidan's first St. Patrick's Day in 1973. We have placed it on the mantle and look forward to explaining its significance to Liam in the future.