I survived.....

This whole not getting pregnant thing has had a major downside - I have not been able to hold other people's babies in fear that I would become an emotional basketcase. there were points this summer where being around babies made me go into a panic attack - a condition that only used to happen at bridal and baby showers. I realized this weekend that I haven't held a baby since September 2006. Granted, I haven't had the opportunity to hold one between then and this summer but still, it is quite a bit of time.

Anyhow, I held a baby this weekend. Yes, I was nervous to do so when I picked up the baby but then the fear went away. The baby seemed fine so I was fine too. I had no baby cravings, the smell wasn't intoxicating (I've never had that experience ever...) and I didn't feel cheated out of motherhood. I just felt like I was holding a baby. Later, the baby slept on my chest and again it was ok. I don't know. It was like everything was calm that day.

Anyhow, we're looking at this cycle positively as usual. Christmas Day kicks off the season!

Perhaps some next steps...

DH may get to speak to the RE today. He called to set up a time for the phonecall on Friday but was told that he would have to set up a time through a particular nurse and the nurse would call back in 10 minutes. We got a message on our voicemail at home at 11am yesterday - asking DH to call the doctor at 4pm our time. As far as we knew, the urologist wouldn't have sent over the results yet; hence the desire to have the conversation later during the week. In any case DH will contact the RE today and hopefull they will be able to talk.

On a somewhat related note, I've been researching IVF options in other countries. While I think we can purchase a package in Boston for a number of fresh and frozen cycles, I wondered if it was a viable option to do IVF on vacation so it wasn't so 'obvious' what we are trying to do. I've found some interesting options in the Czech Republic, as well as Greece and Barbados. I even found one in Las Vegas but that was really expensive! Honestly, the Czech Republic is interesting because 1) I've never been there; 2) it's close to Vienna; 3) I have friends who live there and 4) the cost looks good. I've requested information from 2 companies and have received details from one. It might be an option for vacation 2009. It would kill two birds with one stone - relaxation and baby-making.