So Much Potential.....

I didn't really care for 2008. I think it is because I lived it in 2 week increments. I didn't have to but it somehow ended up that way. I remember thinking up until perhaps May that it was kind of interesting to live life that way - that was before we were sent to the RE and the urologist. I also feel as if we lost a period of time, between the situation in March and going on vacation in September. I now feel that I was a shadow of myself during that time and perhaps further back from them. My enjoyment of life seems to have dwindled during this whole TTC experience. My go-getter, I must do a million things at a time attitude was virtually at a standstill. I feel like I became someone else.

In September/October I wanted myself back. I went to a counselor and between each meeting I set small goals for myself. I got back into things I enjoyed. I got back into my schoolwork. I decided i needed to change jobs and do things that I enjoyed. I am not back to normal but what is normal when you are in the midst of the craziest battle that you never expected to be in. 2009 has great potential because i know what I do not want to become this year. Yes, there are some major goals that I have set for the year - to finish the degree, to start a dance school, to build my company, to live according to a realistic budget, to do a 1/2 marathon, to get pregnant (possible through Adventure 2009) and possibly have a baby (that could be 2010). All but the last I can control to some degree and that makes me feel good. The last one is what we both want the most and have no idea what it will take to achieve it.

DH has been added to this blog. I don't know if he'll post anything but at least he has access.

Cycle 17

So today I tested because.... well, I felt like it. And then 4 hours later AF began. It always seems to start on the day that I decide to test. So this month LP was about 12 or 13 if I oed around day 14. So we're now on to cycle 17.

I feel pretty good considering I am sick. I am looking forward to just relaxing during this cycle since there are holidays and vacation in the midst of it. Then it's on to the getting healthy period in preparation for the 1/2 marathon - I haven't talkted to DH about whether we should not TTC during this time. Then hopefully will be a great summer before we embark on Adventure 2009.... I still hope we're successful in our own right before then!

Something to work towards

We still haven't managed to talk to our RE but I have gotten some feedback from another RE. In a nutshell, we're probably going to have aggressive fertility treatment if luck isn't working for us. I wasn't that surprised. Even through DH was positive about the increased levels last week, the numbers are still quite a bit below normal. I now want to see what our RE recommends for "agressive treatment".

My Czech Republic research is going well. I have been receiving great information that will allow us to possibly plan our annual anniversary trip in September around treatment - and it will probably cost the same as our trip to Italy this year! I was referred to a message board and the stories and discussions are wonderful. I hope to glean as much information as possible to make plans for 'Adventure 2009'. DH loves the idea.

In the meantime we've both decided to sign-up for a 1/2 marathon in May. We both can stand to lose some weight and if we don't luck out before September, this will get us in decent physical shape for the fall. So we'll have two goals to focus on (among others).