Liam - Week 48

Date/Week: November 23rd; week 48

Milestones: He's 11 months old! He's the oldest in his baby class. We received his first class picture (he looks like he is 3!)

Developmental Progress:  He will go over to his book storage cube, pull it out, pull out a book (usually Thomas the Tank Engine), sit down and flip through it. He's still talking up a storm.

Energy level: I caught Liam's cold... which he still has!

Exercise: none this week...

Thoughts and Feelings? We're getting into the holiday season and it is going to be busy. And sadly, I'll miss his Christmas concert because I'll be away on business. It really sucks.


Need to start thinking about what to do for the little man's 1st birthday.

What I am looking forward to: Some sleep!

Liam - Week 47

Date/Week: November 16th; week 47

Milestones: Attended first Remembrance Day Parade; first time having pink eye :( ; first Christmas Party; Loves soup and yogurt! Purchased Liam's first Christmas stocking - and he picked it out!

Developmental Progress:  Walks pretty well if you hold one of his hands; Walks around the house pushing his music desk in front of him; Starting to use 2-syllable babble (we looked up his favorite babble word 'daden' in a language translator and it means 'actions' in Dutch); Will go up to other kids and 'talk' to them.

Energy level: Both Aidan and I are in training this week and both of us have homework at night. We're both running on empty at the moment.

Exercise: Good dance class on Saturday but did not get to perform on Monday since I was at the doctor's office with Liam.

Thoughts and Feelings? I hate it when Liam is sick. i now know what it feels like to be helpless to make him better. You just have to comfort him through it. Liam's pink eye because of a simple cold, aggravated by an ear infection and him rubbing his eyes. Amazingly, even though you can see that his ears are bothering him (and his eyes look awful), he is still in good spirits. I am also so very grateful to our parents who have each taken him during the full day since we're stuck in training. I do not know how we would survive without them at the moment.

On another note, I have to submit my dissertation proposal by December 19th! Looks like I should be able to start data collection in January. This is so exciting!

What I am looking forward to: Christmas music and decorating!

Liam - Week 46

Date/Week: November 9th; week 46

Milestones: 2nd Tooth has erupted; First Flu Shot; slept through the night a few nights in a row (it didn't continue though...); first time in a mei tai carrier; first paternal family dinner at our house

Developmental Progress:  He can point to a few items when you say the name (fan, clock, daddy, mummy, owl (sticker on the window); tries to feed himself with the spoon; drinking out of a cup results in more liquid in his mouth and less down his front; he eats just about anything i he feeds himself

Energy level: I have had a good week. Sunday was a bit tough but that was because it was such a busy day!

Exercise: Got to meet with my coach and run yesterday at lunchtime. It felt good!

Thoughts and Feelings? I thought October was hectic! I find myself wishing for some down time and when I get a Saturday morning or such I end up filling it up. That said, when things do slow down a bit, I feel more able to tackle them. And what must be tackled at the moment... the Christmas shopping list (I never again want to be suck shopping in November -- it's too stressful).


As I look to 2012, I know I must start working on my budget. The 2011 budget was interesting but 2012 will be more austere since I want to finish this degree, perhaps start another and deal with the apartment, paying off credit cards, student loans and save more once that's done. I need to be focused to create a realistic budget in the coming weeks.

What I am looking forward to: Holiday preparations - the pudding has been made and the Open House invitations go out next week!

Liam - Week 45

Date/Week: November 2nd; week 45

Milestones: First Hallowe'en (and he won his first costume contest!); 12-18 month clothing now fills his dresser drawers; Drinks water with meals

Developmental Progress:  He's pointing and asking 'da'? He's getting closer to walking on his own but is still uncertain and usually sits immediately. He loves to boogie to music. Now that we have his toys in canvas boxes in the den, he empties them and of ten stands his animals on their feet. He enjoys trying to figure out mirrors. Peek-a-boo puts him into a fit of laughter - especially i he's the one hiding his face with a blanket or clothing. When he wants me he will follow me around saying 'mum-mum'. 

Energy level: Busy week meant running got delayed again... something has to give! Energy has been ok but it would be nice to have more and for it to be more consistent!

Exercise: Still trying to work something out - there just aren't enough hours in a day!

Thoughts and Feelings? November's calendar is packed and I assume December may be the same. I say I want things to slow down or normalise but realise that until I'm 'done' with school, that will not be the case. I do wonder what the future will bring and lately what I will be when I 'grow up'. Sometimes it is fun and sometimes not so much.


2012 is coming fast and I will admit that it intrigues me. I do not know what excitement a 2012 graduation will bring. Will I start another degree next fall. Will we expand our family. Will the economy begin to turn around. Will I take on a teaching job part-time after graduation. What will Liam's 2nd year be like? So many things to ponder!

What I am looking forward to: Holiday preparations - I already am craving Christmas music and decorating...

Liam - Week 44

Date/Week: October 26th; week 44

Milestones: The first tooth has broken through and the second is about to come through!He is 10 months old (double digit months!!!). He has walked with me only holding one of his hands

Developmental Progress:  He is getting pretty good with 'Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' and has touched his head and ears consistently when he hears those. He will raise his arms up when Aidan says 'Wings Up'. His kisses are so messy but he is trying to kiss you back. His favourite song at the moment is the 'A-B-C' song.

Energy level: I'm in the midst of a good spurt and am at the end of my cold/virus.

Exercise: Trying out a 20 minute workout when I am not doing a dance class or performance. Hope to run at lunchtime.

Thoughts and Feelings? I've started Liam's 1st Birthday photo card and boy has he changed. I can't believe all that has happened this year. I am so grateful to have experienced it and am thankful that I have been so blessed. And I am so psyched for Holiday Season 2011!!!

What I am looking forward to: I'm loving playtime before bedtime!

Liam - Week 43

Date/Week: October 19th; week 43

My Total weight gain/loss:

His Stats:

Milestones: He can climb stairs (we've now gated the top and bottom of the stairs - only had the top gated because of his crawling up until now); first chiropractic adjustment; Has his own remote control (an old one that he can press the buttons as much as he likes)

Developmental Progress:  He definitely calls me 'mum-mum' and Aidan 'da-da'; We believe he has said 'cow' when pointing to a cow; he had been testing balancing on his own

Energy level: I'm recovering from the illness that Liam brought home last week; I've staarted taking a probiotic vitamin because I need it!

Exercise: Mostly walking but should start a lunchtime running class next week (should I get a nano?)

Thoughts and Feelings? My fall is flying by! starting to plan for the holiday season and Liam's first b-day! Also need to book his 1 year photos.

What I am looking forward to: I'd love a full night's sleep - perhaps if we stay at the hotel after the St. Andrew's Ball...

Struggles on the other side

I will admit to not posting much. Perhaps I am better able to deal with more stuff in my head - it doesn't overwhelm me as much. Then again, I am also trying to live life and not complain and be grateful for what I have. But sometimes I still have moments. Normally they're small and I can handle them with a reassuring conversation with DH. But every so often they shake me and no amount of 'I should be grateful' helps pull me out of the fear or confidence sapping funk. One such occasion happened on Monday.

We were grocery shopping. I had had a cruddy day catching up at work. I'm still sick. I don't feel comfortable in my clothes. I swear my fibroids have grown back or my kidneys are getting larger. In any case, my body image confidence is already in the toilet. But we're shopping and we run into a colleague from our old infertility support group. It was wonderful to see him! It hurt to see him. We talked. He thought Liam was so charming. We wanted to ask how things were. We didn't. We parted. We got into the car and said how great it was to see him and how we wish we could catch up with him and his wife - in fact everyone in our old group. We went through so much together. We lost them all when we got pregnant. We wish we could still support them. We wish we still had support sometimes.

Of course this interaction combined with my other feelings of vulnerability that day figured into other conversations that evening. The simple comment that siblings keep each other busy from a lady at church on Sunday. The comment was bouncing around in my head. Some days I'd love to give Liam a sibling. But I'm scared. We discussed my fear - which turned into our fear. Would it not happening rip apart our lives again? Do we want to be in that limbo again? Do we want to lose our confidence again? I don't want that...

So no commitment to try - to figure it out - we're both still not happy with what we became and still discovering who we are now. It still hurts. And we're still dealing with it by ourselves...